Antedate | Bucky Barnes

Chapter Three

"It's for my own entertainment." I say. I can tell that the man is still apprehensive about giving me what I need. Before he can say anything, I get one more word in,

"I think my father would be glad to know the technology division helped me out." I say. I hate pulling the father card, but I'll do it if it means I can finish my mission. The man squints his eyes and stands from the desk. He walks out of sight and I look around while I wait for him to return.

The man returns with a few books in hand and sets them on the desk for me to take. I grab the books, which are heavier than they look, and bow my head slightly to the man. 

"Thank you." I say and he nods,

"Yes, give your father our regards." He says, still in an obviously artificial happiness. I turn my back on the man and go to my room, where I like to do most of my research and reading. My room is private and many people will not interrupt me here. There is a common area I could do this in, but there are too many eyes and ears there. 

My room is the only place in the entire base that I feel completely at ease. It's my little safe haven. Or at least, it used to be. Ever since Agent Winthrop stopped by the one day I've been a little on edge. I'm always anxious about if he's going to show up again or not. 

Interrupting my already anxious thoughts, someone knocks on my door. My stomach twists in anxiety as I go to open it. I wipe a sweaty palm on my pants and open the door. I see a security guard staring down at me. This is a first. 

"Miss Averina, your father requested your presence in his office at once." The man speaks formally. I nod my head, not understanding why my father would want to talk to me. The guard walks away and I quickly put some shoes on before making the trip to my father's office. 

I knock on his door and am invited in by my father. He doesn't look upset, nor happy. This could mean just about anything. He places a hand on his chin as he paces back and forth for a few minutes. He's building the tension for a reason, I'm sure of it. He stops pacing and looks at me. I stare back without a word, knowing he is the one that's to start the conversation since he's the one that summoned me here. 

"I'd like to have a word with you about your mission." He says. He motions for me to take a seat and I do. I'm not entirely sure of where this is going.

"Yes?" I ask him as he takes a seat behind his desk. He sighs,

"I've done some thinking over the past few days. I want to give you some more specifics. I want you to improve what Zola created, but I also want you to completely erase the Soldier's memories. Make him a blank canvas. I think it would be very advantageous to have a Soldier with no memories." He says and my heart drops. I already thought I was ruining a man, but to also erase his memories? I'm entirely uncomfortable with that idea. However, I can't tell my father no. 

"Yes, sir. I can do that. I've started teaching myself how to code, so that I can use the simulator application. I expect I will be working on my own code in two weeks or less." I say, knowing well enough that I probably won't start my own code for at least another month. I'll have to find some excuse to stall.

"I would prefer if it didn't take two weeks. However, I need this to be perfect and am willing to wait. But not long. Do not keep me waiting, you hear me?" He asks and I nod. I hear him loud and clear. 

"Yes, sir. I understand. I promise that I will not fail or disappoint you, I will honor the family name." I say, laying it on extra thick for him. I don't need him questioning my dedication or loyalty. I see a small smile on his lips, 

"I expect great things from you, Adalyn. You are excused." He says and I nod my head and leave his office. 

How can he so casually ask me to wipe a person's entire memory? I already don't want to destroy this man by creating a perfect code, but I don't know if I can bring myself to erase everything. The Soldier was somebody before he was taken in by Hydra. Surely he doesn't remember his life before, due to Zola's programming, but they're probably still in his mind somewhere. 

I don't know if I can strip that away from him. Perhaps there's a way that I can write my code but leave his memories alone. I don't know how my father intends to check if his memories are still in his mind or not. I could always lie and say that I erased them. But, if my lie is found out then I am sure to join my mother. 

Instead of returning to my room, I decide to go visit my mother's grave. A guard opens the door for me and I hug my arms closely to my chest, regretting not going to pick up my coat. I trudge through the snow to where I think my mother's grave is. There's no marker for any of the graves, so I take a guess as to where she is. 

I stand looking at the ground, hoping I found the right spot. I let out a sigh, and the breath leaves my mouth in a white cloud of condensation. I talk to her quietly, not wanting the outdoor guards to hear anything I have to say. 

"I need your help. I don't know what to do. Father wants me to completely destroy a man, but I don't want to do it. I don't even want to write the code. Things are so different now, mom. I miss you, a lot. I wish you were here." I say. I hear a sound in the trees and look up, seeing a black and white bird with red around its eyes sitting on a branch. 

I recognize the bird, my mother always loved the grouses that ran around in the forest. They're kind of funny looking, I always thought. Now that mom is gone, I think I can finally see the beauty she saw in them. They're free, able to run around and do whatever they please. Their coloring is intricate, but has a simplicity to it. 

I take the bird as a symbol that my mother is with me, though not physically. I take in a big breath and feel as if I've made up my mind. I'm not going to erase the man's memories. I can't do it. It's too inhumane and cruel, not to mention unnecessary. 

I go back to my room and begin reading the coding books again. I know I can't avoid writing the code, I know that I am choosing to exercise as much mercy and kindness as I can to this man. It's what mom would have done and I know it's what she would have wanted me to choose. I can't bring myself to be fully comforted by this decision though, I'm still going to be responsible for making him a weapon of Hydra.