i really loved him

chapter 53

James POV

They had returned to the Honeydukes' cellar not long after that, when a glimpse at the Marauders' Map showed more and more students beginning to re-appear in the castle. It was the late afternoon by the time they slid the statue passage shut behind them, which, unsurprisingly, meant that Regulus wanted to snatch a couple of hours in the library before dinner. James left him to it this time, eager to find the other Marauders and share date details; partly because he cared about his friends' relationships and wanted them to be happy, and partly because he was pretty sure he would win most romantic outing out of them all. Everything is a competition if you're competitive enough.

So he kissed Regulus goodbye outside the bathrooms; the younger boy disappeared to change back into his robes, and James headed off to Gryffindor Tower. The common room was packed with people, all buzzing with excitement and sugar. Marlene and Dorcas were curled up on the armchair nearest the unlit fire, with Lily and Mary sat on the sofa beside it, both looking fiercely protective over them and silently daring anyone to comment. All four of them, however, smiled and waved when James walked in. As he passed, Marlene caught his eye and winked, and he knew that she hadn't bought his all-day-Quidditch excuse for a second. Face burning, he exchange a few cheerful greetings with each of them, before scurrying away to the dorm.

His friends were already there, all squashed onto Peter's bed. Sirius, still with the crown of daises perched proudly on his head, sat between the other two with an arm wrapped around each. One of his legs was slung over Remus, who was holding the hand draped over his shoulder, and Peter was hugging his knees to his chest, cheeks pink as he told them about his day with Arabella. But when James came in, Sirius sat up at once and almost pushed him off the bed.

"Prongs!" he boomed.

"Padfoot!" James beamed.

He bounded over and jumped on his best friend in a hug. They clung to each other for a bit, happily ignoring Remus' dry comment that it had, quite literally, been less than twelve hours since they'd said goodbye. Then James shuffled around to squeeze in next to Peter, whose cheeks went even pinker as he fondly mussed his hair.

"Budge up, Wormy," he grinned, un-trapping the duvet from beneath their feet and slinging it over the four of them. "Cheers. Right. You're going to have to start again, mate; what did I miss?"

They proceeded to spend the rest of their time before dinner excitably talking, relentlessly teasing, wrestling and pillow-fighting, sharing the mountain of sweets that now took up the foot of the bed, throwing chocolate frogs, cuddling up despite the blazing sunshine outside, and James couldn't remember ever seeing any of his friends, or himself, quite this happy.

* * *

As soon as the week of O.W.L exams began, Regulus became more high-strung than ever. Pressure that he refused to let break down his calmly poised exterior was bearing down on him like the club of an angry troll, and James reckoned he was the only one who'd be able to see it. The younger boy carried on spending hours at a time in the library between, before and after each of his exams, and had asked James to leave him to it for a while; he didn't want any distractions.

This didn't offend James in the slightest. They had passed countless afternoons and evenings revising together in the past, plenty for him to understand - he knew he got bored easily, tending to pass that on to his much more focused study partner, and therefore wasn't the most productive to be around. So he used his time without Regulus doing other stuff that involved less snogging: listening to his record player with his friends in the common room, writing letters to his parents at home, wheedling Sirius out to the pitch on the promise of having a go on the glorious Nimbus 1001, and occasionally, if he could be bothered, getting some work done of his own in the dorm.