i really loved him

chapter 52

He never used to do that. Ever. Including in the middle of summer. Back in first year, even before that, people tended to gawk at the dark, soft hair on his arms. The hair that stood out thicker and blacker than anyone else's against his brown skin. They would stare and make shitty remarks and James quickly took to pulling his sleeves all the way down to his wrists every day, no matter how hot it got. His first ventures with the invisibility cloak were to the library in the dead of night, flicking through book after book searching for hair-removal spells so that he could look like everyone else until, he reckoned, about the beginning of second year, when he decided not to care anymore. Being looked at a lot became something he owned and enjoyed, and the hair-removal spells came in handy for jinxing anyone who still commented; so now, he made a point of doing it all the time. It was strangely freeing.

Plus, James was well aware that each time he shoved his sleeves up to his elbows, ideally messing up his hair a bit as well, Regulus stared for a very different reason. That was cause enough for him. Alas, as they approached the broad oak tree that stood not far from the Dark Lake, he remained under the invisibility cloak. Just in case.

"I haven't been here for a while," Regulus said thoughtfully as they sat down beneath it; around the back, concealed from the castle by its trunk. "I told you about it a long time ago - I'm surprised you remember."

"Yup," James shrugged, stuffing the cloak in his pocket with a grin. "S'pose I'm just the world's best boyfriend."

Regulus rolled his eyes, but didn't deny it. He'd take that. They talked for a bit then - about exams, mostly, but at least they weren't studying - and eventually settled into a comfortable quiet. James had never liked the quiet before. But now, and always with him, it was just simple and slow and lovely. An hour. He could have stayed there forever. Beside him, Regulus began to gently pluck daises from the ground.

For someone so clever with words, Reggie sometimes gave the impression of having little use for them. It was James who spoke, who filled the silences that needed filling, who was generally was the first to say good morning and good night. And I love you. But he didn't mind, because Regulus showed him all of that, as well as saying it back; it was in his touch and his kisses, every smile that danced its way across his lips and every look, filled with quiet affection that seemed to glow on his face. And the way he said things, too. Weirdly, James never felt more warm and cherished than when Regulus called him an idiot.

He fished the golden snitch from his pocket and tossed it up and down a few times, perfectly content to listen to the swishing of hundreds of trees brushing together in the Forbidden Forest - peaceful to the point of eerie - as opposed to his own voice for a bit longer. It was still bright; the grass around them was mottled by the shade of the tree, yet still was gleaming.

James continued flicking the snitch into the air, catching it, throwing it to the other hand and back. Pretending that he was focused on that, when in reality, his eyes were fixed on Regulus. The younger boy had gathered a small pile of daises and had started weaving them together; James watched, mesmerised, as his long, delicate fingers made thin slits in the stalks, then looped them through one another and repeated the motion in perfect rhythm. Before long, a short daisy chain began to form, curled up in his lap. His eyes shimmered silver in the light that peeped through the leaves, and his hair shone like spilled ink. He pierced, thread, twirled and did it all again.

The image called to mind the children's storybooks that they used to read in Muggle Studies classes: bright tales of creatures and spirits claimed by Muggles to reside deep in the forest. With his dainty ears and pointed nose, James couldn't help thinking that Regulus looked just like a woodland fairy in a Hogwarts uniform. All he needed was a pair of wings, perhaps a sparkly dress...