Ikigai

Chapter 23: Motives

"Right, right. Maybe we'll celebrate afterward-"

"No." Shizune continued.

"Or not, but I am serious about no more nanny. We have other things we need to focus on at the moment and I'm sure Hatake here is just dying to return to his own students."

Kintsugi didn't smile, but that didn't stop Kakashi from noticing the corner of her lip turn the slightest bit upwards in amusement. 

"There are some things I need, "Tsunade continued, "for...a kid and I heard that you're quite the supplier."

"I'm not a drug dealer."

"Oh, no, no. Of course not, I'm sure Kakashi would have said something anyway. I'm talking about some very specific items, here."

The small piece of paper only had three things jotted down, but between the smooth paper and the dry ink on them, Kintsugi found it hard to sense.

"I-," Kintsugi hesitated.

"You can get them right?" 

"....how soon?" she muttered, tucking the piece of paper in her pocket. 

"As soon as possible. In exchange, I'll grant you...citizenship." She looked to Shizune, "We can do that right?"

"Well, we would technically need to bring it up before the council since she was originally their ward and they're not scheduled to meet for another week or so now that you're here and I'm not sure-"

"So yes, we'll grant you citizenship," Tsunade ignored her. 

"I'm sensing I don't have much of a choice, so I'll say yes too."

"Well, that settles things," Tsunade turned before stopping abruptly, "...one more thing. If you ever want me to take a look at your eyes, I'd be happy to do it. I am the fifth Hokage after all."

"Excuse me?"

"The list I gave you? Cell activation jutsu, I can't promise anything, but we can always look into it." 

There were a lot of things Kinstugi wished she could change about herself, but her lack of sight was not one of them. She didn't feel crippled and the fact that so many people around her looked at her like some sad case when they found out about it, well, she definitely didn't have any warm and fuzzy feelings.

It had caught her off guard, but she supposed it would have happened sooner or later with the woman before her. She just wasn't sure how Kakashi, someone she was sure didn't know about her inability to see much more than sense would think. 

Then again she wasn't sure why she cared.

"No thank you," she whispered. She wasn't pretending to look at her eyes anymore and frankly, she wanted to leave.  

"Are you sure?"

"I am, but I'll get you what you need for the kid," Kintsugi said, her fists hidden beneath her robe clenched even tighter and as she turned to leave, not bothering to ask for permission, she brushed past Kakashi and to the exit. 

"Did I say something wrong?"

Shizune sighed and the small pig tucked beneath her arms only oinked in disappointment.

----

"Sasuke's awake, huh." They were walking side by side and despite her earlier silence, she didn't like it when Kakashi was silent. "How's that turning out?"

The smell of fresh grilled meat was heavy in the air and before Kintsugi debated stopping to get some, Kakashi pulled her arm towards an empty table.

"Two plates of yakitori, please. Extra crispy for her," he said to the waitress that had walked up to them as he had sat down.

"What are you doing?"

"Sit."

"Is it naive to accept that this is a nightmare?"

"You'll live."

She feigned a smile in his direction before settling into the wooden bench. 

The small shop wasn't big but with the constant traffic of people coming and going, the outdoor tables, and the open kitchen, it was a dream to the hungry mouths of what was considered rush hour.

"I don't know how I didn't see it."

"What?" Kintsugi had been focused on what was going on in the kitchen, her eyes and mind in different places as she sensed the echos of steps and the vibrations of meat hitting a very hot grill.

It was a bit of an experiment, but Kakashi, having a general idea about what Tsunade had mentioned, thought it wouldn't hurt to make funny faces at her while she pretended to stare into the crowd. Every now and then when she would glance at him, he would make a different face. But she didn't say anything. 

"You really can't see, can you."

She frowned at that. 

"If you're insinuating that I can't tell that you're making faces at me, then you're wrong."

He was clearly confused but stayed silent as he waited for her to continue, but as she shrugged and he continued to stare at her she sighed. 

"See you around Spiky."

"Spiky?" He mumbled as he watched her stand. "Where are you going."

"You can bring me some of the food later, or not, but I'm going back to my place."

"Kintsugi-," he began in slight concern.

"Don't. Just...," she didn't know what to tell him. Maybe he would be okay with her not being able to see. But she didn't want to find out that another person would so willingly put her down because of something she was born with. Something that was a part of her, or simply, her.

 "...don't." She whispered.

She didn't look back at him but he paused as he watched her body fade into the growing crowd. 

Just one look and he could forget everything.