Labyrinth [Harry Styles] (Completed)

Chapter Fifteen

"It started with just joking around with girls. Nothing quite serious. I'd hook up with them and I'd never go all the way with them. That came on later. But just pleasure, soon wasn't enough. With every new girl I've tried more, went further. Don't get me wrong, this wasn't about that Fifty shades of gray shit, it was just hard sex. No violence, as I'm not capable to hurt a girl like that. Then I started playing them. I told them I love them and they believed it. I made them fall in love with me, then I'd toss them aside like trash. It was a distraction. Literally I was able to play with three girls at once and none of them knew about each other. Then I came to the line and when I knew I was about to cross it, I stopped.''

I gasped and covered my mouth. I knew everything he told me and every word hurt as I imagine those girls crying and being heartbroken.

"Anna, you have understand that that wasn't me and I was fucked up. If you want me to stop talking, I will. I just don't want you to hate me." he responded to my reaction.

"No, please, tell me, I need to hear." I cut him off.

"So there was this girl. Cara. And she was really pretty and everything, but I never loved her. She slowly fell in love with me and she loved me. I knew that. I was also her first. We 'dated' for around two months, if I can call that dating. Then she found out that she's not the only one I'm with. I remember her saying: ''Harry, I loved you, you took my virginity. You are a monster.'' and you know what I said? I looked her dead in the eyes, ''Don't lie sweetheart, you liked it.'' and I simply walked away. I fucking walked away, leaving her to cry. You have to know I was drinking a lot in that time and that made things even worse. That made me realize I went overboard. I was fucking disgusted by myself and I knew something needs to change. I never broke a heart of any girl after that. I've only slept with girls, no more playing with their emotions. But I can't forgive myself for what I did.'' he buried his face in his hands.

I was shocked by his words, this was the thing I didn't want to hear.

I felt tears running down my cheeks. I wanted to run away from him as far as possible, but at the same time I wanted to hug him and tell him that it doesn't matter and past does not define who we are.

What if he's doing the same thing to me? NO!

"You hate me, don't you." he carefully spoke.

"No, Harry I don't hate you. I just, I didn't know that. I just knew about girls, I didn't know you went that far. I don't know what. I need time. I need a moment. And please don't try to stop me. I promise I'll be back once I think this through but I just need to go out." I said shaking. 

I stood up and grabbed my wallet and phone. I put on my shoes and a jacket.

"Be careful. And just remember, I love you." he said before I left.

*

"The strongest thing you have, make it double." I sat down in some bar. I really hoped they won't ask for ID, as I'm not 21. The guy behind the bar probably noticed I really need that drink and that I'm planning to get wasted, so he poured a full glass of what I believe was vodka. 

After two hours of walking around the town and Harry's voice telling me what he's done. And then saying 'I love you.'. My mind was racing and I already decided I won't leave him. I can't, he's the only person in my life that can make me feel not sad. And that was the past, the Harry I know doesn't do that. My Harry is good.

Then I calmed down, and remembered his 'I love you' again. He meant that. He said he doesn't believe in that, but he said it anyway.