oxytocin | tr oneshots

doubts {sano shinichiro}

Your sister is someone introverted and unapproachable but at least her flirting skills are not lacking and like most people will always say, the quiet ones are something else and full of surprises.

And then you? Your friendliness didn't lead you to the love life you dream of.

Do you want to know the sole reason why?

Because you treat no one differently and you act like you love everyone equally so that's why the crushes that you have been rooting on before end up with someone else. It's because they're too dense and can't take the hint (well, it was you that was making it difficult).

You might have the bravery to socialize about anything and be comfortable with anyone, but your number one fear will always be confessions.

The fear of rejection gets worse and worse each day.

And it's only because of the horrible thing that happened to you during middle school.

You gave a genuine confession through a love letter to the most handsome guy in your class but then his friends went to the front class and read the letter out loud. Laughing their heart out to every word that you wrote in that letter.

You always want to punch yourself for writing your name in that letter. You didn't even try to be anonymous. You wanted him to know.

And that leads you to such worse circumstances.

It was heartbreaking since at that moment you felt like you pour all your heart out in that letter and there was not even a single lie written in it. But yet there were his obnoxious friends ruining it for you.

Making fun of your feelings and humiliating you.

You do agree that the love letter was horrendous and anyone will gag if they ever read it, but you were just 14. It's normal to do cringy things in order for you to grow and be someone better.

There's nothing wrong with doing mistakes.

But god, does a young girl having romantic feelings for a boy do something wrong?

Does she deserve such humiliation and bullying from others?

Until high school, you have to endure the guy's friends mocking and calling you his name every time you pass by them.

So since that day, you never confessed to anyone, even if your feelings for that person were strong and you were determined about your feelings, you still choose not to.

You just can't.

Even if that incident happened 9 years ago, the effect it had on you was still scarred in your heart.

Some pain in the past does last for a long time.

How horrible people can be? Can't they see that some playful actions they do can hurt others?

Of course, they wouldn't.

Because it's not affecting them so why would they bother?

So there you are in your university years. Hoping that it could just be a miracle that your crush will confess to you out of the blue and make the first move even though they were never aware of your feelings since you treat anyone with no difference.

And some of your friends can't even fathom you having feelings for someone.

Because you treat everyone in a... 'platonic way', this is how they say it. Because you surely have no idea to give someone signals and you believe that it's something embarrassing to do so yeah.

No progression.

No lover.

Then, a plot twist turns out that your crush and your ex-best friend started going out together secretly.