Hold me tight

4.

I looked at her under my eyesbrows, and I looked away then. She came closer and leaned against one of the sinks with her hand.
"I feel so stupid.. you invited me to have fun with you on the festivals and then here.. but I can't.. I need to go home." I explained sobbing. I looked at her through the mirror, and she was so worried.

"I saw how happy you were there. You smiled, singed and laughed, even jumped like crazy with me. You weren't faking it." She looked at her hands.
I know she's disappointed. She always tries so hard to get me out of my apartment, to live my life, but it's not easy. This time was rare.
"And I felt happy for a moment in a long time." I mumbled. Her eyes landed on me and she smiled s bit.
I took a deep breath.
"And I'm so sorry to disappoint you again, like you gave me the chance to get to known to your friends and maybe make new friends myself.. but..." I continued sadly. I couldn't look at her anymore.
I kept my gaze on my hands that leaned against the sink. My black nailpolish is almost worn out completely, I need to put a new layer.
Then when I have the interest to that.

"Saga.. I know it must feel like you don't fit in, we have our own inside jokes that boys are constantly talking about. And it really hurts me to see that you just sit there in silence, staring at your drink.. I tried to make some other conversations but.. it's hard with those assholes..." She sighed and shook her head.

I dared to lift my head up a little, so now I was staring at my upper body from the mirror.
I know she tries. And it hurts me too that she tries so hard, she really doesn't have to.
But she wants.

"They like you, I promise. You just have to show them that side what you really are. You just need to.. trust to yourself. Let's go back and play some game." She took my hand and I looked at her frowning, confused.
"What game?" I asked scared, she smiled and started to lead me out of the restroom.
I was getting nervous again when we arrived back to the boys. Joonas looked at us smiling, especially he stared at me.
"Boys!" Eevi suddenly said louder and it made me flinch too. That woman has a powerful voice when needed. Immediately everyone of them turned to look at us and they were silent. It was kinda hilarious.
"Niko and Olli, go order some shots for us. We're going to play a game." She put her hands on the table and looked at her brother and the love of her life.
They both changed looks and then looked at her again. Niko pushed Olli so he would stand up, so they did.
"Why us?" Olli groaned, it made Eevi sigh.

"Because I say so." Eevi looked him under her eyebrows. They just changed looks, and it looked like she enjoyed this. They walked to the counter and in the mean time Joonas stood up again and showed me to sit back to my seat.

For a moment we waited for them to come. In the mean time everyone were quiet, waiting for Eevi to tell us what's on her mind.
Then they came with.. a many shots.
I swallowed while we all took our owns.
"Okay. Everyone says one fact about themselves, no matter what because Saga is here to get to known to you and vice versa. If you have the same fact, for example I say I don't like cats, you take the shot." She explained, and Niko gasped in the end.
"You said what?" He asked shoked from his sister.

"It was an example. I love cats so shut up and Joonas starts." She pointed the man next to me.

"Uhm.. I know how to play guitar." He grinned, and all around me just chuckled disappointed.
It made me smile a bit when I saw Joel, Eevi, Olli, Aleksi and Niko taking the shot. I guess it was a tough one. Eevi was coughing a bit, and it made Olli laugh.
"Oh my little darling..." He started to squeeze her cheeks, and it made her mad. But like not really.

"I can teach you how to play guitar." Joonas suddenly whispered to my ear.
And somehow it made chills to my body to hear his voice so close to my ear. Nervously I looked around while watching them taking new shots in front of them.
It was my turn now, and all of them looked at me hopefully while I tried to say something that makes sense.
It was very hard to think now. I didn't know what I was allowed to say, I know they wouldn't mind but.. I didn't have anything positive on my mind.
Then I looked at Eevi, she just smiled and nodded, like it was a sign for me to say.. something?
I think she tried to read my mind. It's not possible.

"I'm not a fan of candies." I shook my shoulders desperately. I heard how Joonas gasped, so I looked at him confused, but he just grinned.
"What you eat then when you have craving for sugar?" Aleksi asked shocked, it made me smile to see them all so.. confused? Shocked?

"I take a shot and put my middle fingers up." I took the shot glass in my hand and decided to drink it while everyone laughed around me.
It was weird to see that I made that much of people laugh. Niko was giggling again between Olli and Tommi.
I saw how Eevi laughed and looked at me proudly.

We played the game a while and we had to stop when those shots were just too much for all of us.
By now I was much more relaxed, thanks to the alcohol and good company. I saw myself leaning against Joonas often, but he didn't seem to mind. But it disturbed me. I had to behave, so like now I took better position, not touching him.
Everyone were drunk, Olli and Eevi were whispering something to each other that made them smile and giggle. I saw Eevi blushing.
Joel was explaining how Blind Channel is the best band in the whole world, he was smiling proudly and I saw Niko's bored face next to him.

"I guess he's always like that when drunk?" I asked from Aleksi, he just chuckled.
"Mostly." He looked my both eyes in turn.

We decided to leave the bar, it was closing time anyways. The fresh air hit my face, and it felt amazing.
Eevi and Olli left to their home, Tommi was going to the same direction with Santeri and Joel, Niko was calling for a taxi to him and Aleksi.
I stood next to Joonas, it felt a bit awkward. The world spinned around me, I wanted to lay on the ground and sleep there.
Joonas saw that, and fastly he took a grip of me so I wouldn't fall.
"I'll order a taxi for you." He started to search his phone from his leather jacket, but I took his hand.
"I don't wanna go home.. I hate it there..." I mumbled, my eyes almost closed. He was silent at first, and pulled me closer to his body, my legs were loosing their balance again.
"Well, I have a spot for you at my house. " He smiled and looked at me.
"Like.. a hotel.. room?" I asked, he chuckled.

"Yeah.. but it's free."

So.. I hope nothing bad happens.
But anyways, thanks for the votes, comments and reading this story <3
Next chapter coming up probably on monday, so see you then!
Weekend is going to be..*coughs aggressively* a bit of partying, so I'll focus on that :)
Stay safe and strong, sending hugs🖤