More than just a friend || Roger Taylor

44- the end of it all

I was in disbelief. Pure and utter disbelief. I'd been kissing him like he was the only person I ever planned on kissing again seconds before, and then I was starting to realise what a mistake I'd managed to make. Again. And then I realised what the sudden pain in my chest was... it was the hurt. The hurt of it all again.

Besides our two frames on the couch, there happened to be a red lace bra, unclasped and clearly tossed across the room. Roger had no response, no words or movements that he normally would use to try and plead his false innocence. He knew he'd fucked up, which is why his eyes wouldn't break from mine as I stared at the lace.

And that's also when I realised one look was all it took. One slight glance to the side and my life had changed permanently. No one could ever imagine two seconds to change what would lead to be the every last moment you lived through. But two seconds was all it took.

"Roger... who's fucking bra is that ?" I mumbled, the anger in me so heavy and so thick it was weighing down too heavily for me to yell. He dropped his head into his hands, shaking it back and fourth as if the gesture would make what I'd seen suddenly disappear. "Who's fucking bra is that ?"

"Adelynn I was drunk... and I was trying to find a way to move on from you i didn't-" I ignored him, completely, turning on my heel and rushing up the stairs as the tears clouded my eyes desperate to unsee what they had.

Of course Roger hadn't cheated on me, but he had managed to make me feel like a prized idiot. Again. And in the moment I felt like me and him were finally after all this time gonna work out, the chance of it all happening slipped right through my grasp. He'd told my only the day prior about how he wanted me, and how he wanted to be with me and only seconds before he'd kissed me and told me he would never hurt me.

The lies were too heavy a burden to bare. They felt like chains pulling round my ankles as I stormed up the stairs, rushing down the hall to where I knew Roger's bedroom was. I didn't want to open the door, but that was the part of me that wanted to reassure myself this was all just an awful dream. The part of me that knew however used its power clearly to slowly open the door handle.

"Adeylnn don't-" Roger stood at the top of the stairs, a fear riddling his eyes as I slowly opened the door.

There she was. I didn't even learn her name, but she was certainly there. Buried beneath Roger's covers in the jumper I'd gotten him for Christmas, sleeping contently with no awareness the boy she'd slept with was currently trying to think of what he was meant to say to the shocked women who happened to be the same one in love with him.

I could only just make out her features, but I knew she was stunning. She was gorgeous, laying sprawled peacefully between the sheets with her dark hair sat in ringlets around her head as they were there to show the halo she wore.

It broke my heart. Seeing her in the jumper I'd bought him in the bed he slept him. Knowing she'd kissed the lips I just had. I thought the pieces were finally at no risk of crumbling- but then I saw how Roger had managed to try and distract himself.

I closed the door, turning to face the drummer's expression as it flooded with a guilt so high and heavy it managed to disperse into the thickening air between us. He watched my heart shatter, the shards laid in his grasp as they should've been, a constant reminder as to why the tears did roll so unexpectedly down my cheeks.

"This is why I can't trust you. You slept with some random girl after telling me you weren't gonna hurt me again. Like I'm nothing to you." I mumbled almost, my eyes looking up towards the ceiling in a clearly desperate attempt to avoid his.

"I was drunk... and I was angry. I want you Adelynn. I don't fucking want her..." Roger exclaimed, the anger in his voice only being directed towards himself as I shook my head.