Script from Shrek

Script shrek

DULOC KINGDOM - EXTERIOR

Shrek and Donkey come out of the field just outside the Duloc parking lot.

DONKEY: But that's it. That's it right there. That's Duloc. I told ya I'd find it.

SHREK: (Gazing up at Duloc Castle, a building that towers over the rest of the kingdom) So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle.

DONKEY: Uh-huh. That's the place.

SHREK: Do you think maybe he's compensating for something? (He laughs, but then groans as Donkey doesn't get the joke. He continues walking through the parking lot.)

DONKEY: Hey, wait. Wait up, Shrek.

MAN: Hurry, darling. We're late. Hurry.! (The man and his wife hurry into the entrance)

SHREK: Hey, you! (

A mascot, who is wearing a giant head that looks like Lord Farquaad, screams and begins running through the rows of rope to get to the front gate to get away from Shrek.

SHREK: Wait a second. Look, I'm not gonna eat you. I just- - I just - -

Shrek sighs and then begins walking straight through the rows. The mascot runs into a wall and falls down. Shrek and Donkey look at him then continue on into Duloc.)

DULOC - INTERIOR

They look around but all is quiet and there is not a person in sight

SHREK: It's quiet. Too quiet. Where is everybody?

DONKEY: Hey, look at this!

Donkey runs over and pulls a lever that is attached to a box marked 'Information'. The music winds up and then the box doors open up. There are little wooden people inside and they begin to sing.

WOODEN PEOPLE: Welcome to Duloc such a perfect town / Here we have some rules let us lay them down / Don't make waves, stay in line and we'll get along fine / Duloc is perfect place / Please keep off of the grass / Shine your shoes, wipe your... face / Duloc is, Duloc is / Duloc is perfect place.

Suddenly a camera takes Donkey and Shrek's picture, both of which are dumbfounded.

DONKEY: Wow! Let's do that again! (makes ready to run over and pull the lever again)

SHREK: (grabs Donkey's tail and holds him still) No. No. No, no, no! No.

They hear a trumpet fanfare and head over to the arena.

FARQUAAD: Brave knights. You are the best and brightest in all the land. Today one of you shall prove himself...

As Shrek and Donkey walk down the tunnel to get into the arena Donkey is humming the Duloc theme song.

SHREK: All right. You're going the right way for a smacked bottom.

DONKEY: Sorry about that.

COURTYARD

In the center of a stadium-like courtyard, Duloc Knights are gathered as a large crowd of citizens watches on from the stands. Horses, kegs of beer, arrow targets, and other equipment are scattered about. Farquaad is atop a high up balcony, flanked by two guards, addressing the crowd. Shrek and Donkey step out onto the courtyard but don't seem to be noticed.

FARQUAAD: That champion shall have the honor-- no, no -- the privilege to go forth and rescue the lovely Princess Fiona from the fiery keep of the dragon. If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first runner-up will take his place and so on and so forth. Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make. (cheers) Let the tournament begin!