Script from Shrek

Script shrek

DONKEY: This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, and in the mornin'... I'm makin' waffles.

SHREK: Oh!

DONKEY: Where do, uh, I sleep?

SHREK: (irritated) Outside!

DONKEY: Oh, well, I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know. Here I go. Good night. (Shrek slams the door, shutting Donkey outside) I mean, I do like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was born outside. I'll just be sitting by myself outside, I guess, you know. By myself, outside. I'm all alone...there's no one here beside me...

SHREK'S HOME - NIGHT

Shrek is getting ready for dinner. He sits down and lights a candle made out of earwax. He begins to eat when he hears a noise. He stands up with a huff.

SHREK: (to Donkey) I thought I told you to stay outside!

DONKEY: (from the window) I am outside!

Shrek hears a noise from inside and turns to find the source. He sees several shadows moving and looks around, spotting the Three Blind Mice on his table.

MOUSE 1: Well, gents, it's a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we have?

MOUSE 2: It's not home, but it'll do just fine.

GORDON: (bouncing on a slug) What a lovely bed.

SHREK Got ya. (Grabs Gordon, but he escapes and lands on his shoulder.)

GORDON: I found some cheese. (bites into Shrek's ear)

SHREK: Ow! (tries to grab him)

GORDO: Blah! Awful stuff. (jumps down to the table)

BLIND MOUSE: Is that you, Gordon?

GORDO: How did you know?

SHREK: Enough! (he grabs all three mice) What are you doing in my house? (He gets bumped from behind and he drops the mice.) Hey!

Shrek turns around and sees the Seven Dwarves have put Snow White, sleeping in her glass coffin, on the table.

SHREK: Oh, no, no, no. Dead broad off the table!

DWARF: Where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken.

SHREK: Huh?

Shrek marches over to the bedroom and throws back the curtain. The Big Bad Wolf is sitting in the bed. The wolf just looks at him.

BIG BAD WOLF: What?

Shrek now has the Big Bad Wolf by the collar and is dragging him to the front door.

SHREK: I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I'm a terrifying ogre! What do I have to do get a little privacy?

He opens the front door to throw the Wolf out and he sees that a horde of fairytale creatures have set up camp in his swamp.

SHREK: Oh, no. No! No! (He dodges out the way of a group of witches flying on broomsticks)

The Three Bears (minus Mama Bear) sit around the fire, the Pied Piper is playing his pipe and the rats are all running to him, some elves are directing flight traffic so that the fairies and witches can land...etc.

SHREK: What are you doing in my swamp?!! (this echoes throughout the camp and everyone falls silent.)

Gasps are heard all around. The Three Good Fairies hide inside a tent.

SHREK: All right, get out of here. All of you, move it! Come on! Let's go! Hapaya! Hapaya! Hey! Quickly. Come on! (more dwarves run inside the house) No, no!                          No, no. Not there! Not there! (they shut the door on him) Oh! (turns to look at Donkey)