Script from Shrek

Script shrek

SHREK: (Annoyed) Oh, that's great. Really.

DONKEY: Man, it's good to be free.

SHREK: Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm?

DONKEY: But, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. You're a mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us.

Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before loudly roaring in is face.

DONKEY: Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you don't mind me sayin', if that don't work, your breath certainly will get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause you breath stinks! You almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time...(Shrek covers his mouth but Donkey continues to talk, so Shrek removes his hand.) ...then I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases leaking out of my butt that day.

SHREK: Why are you following me?

DONKEY: I'll tell you why. (singing) 'Cause I'm all alone, There's no one here beside me, My problems have all gone, There's no one to deride me, But you gotta have friends...

SHREK: Stop singing! (Picks up Donkey by his ears and tail) It's no wonder you don't have any friends (drops him).

DONKEY: Wow. Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest.

SHREK: Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I?

DONKEY: (looks all the way up at Shrek) Uh...really tall?

SHREK: No! I'm an ogre! You know, "Grab your torch and pitchforks." Doesn't that bother you?

DONKEY: Nope.

SHREK: Really?

DONKEY: Really, really.

SHREK: Oh.

DONKEY: Man, I like you. What's you name?

SHREK: Uh, Shrek.

DONKEY: Shrek? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek? You got that kind of "I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me" thing. I like that. I respect that, Shrek. You all right. (They come over a hill overlooking Shrek's home.) Whoa! Look at that. Who'd want to live in place like that?

SHREK: That would be my home.

DONKEY: Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know you are quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder. (Looks at Shrek's "keep out" signs) I guess you don't entertain much, do you?

SHREK: I like my privacy.

DONKEY: You know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face. You'retrying to give them a hint, and they won't leave. And there's that big awkward silence you know? (awkward silence) Can I stay with you?

SHREK: Uh, what?

DONKEY: Can I stay with you, please?

SHREK: (sarcastically) Of course!

DONKEY: Really?

SHREK: No.

DONKEY: Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak. (Donkey pushes Shrek up against the door) Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay! Please! Please!

SHREK: Okay! Okay! But one night only.

DONKEY: Ah! Thank you! (he runs inside the hut)

SHREK: What are you...No! (Donkey hops up onto a chair.) No!