Script from Shrek

Script shrek

SHREK: I have helmet hair.

FIONA: Please. I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer.

SHREK: No, no, you wouldn't - - 'st.

FIONA: But, how will you kiss me?

SHREK: What? (to Donkey) That wasn't in the job description.

DONKEY: Maybe it's a perk (raises his eyebrows).

FIONA: No, it's destiny. Oh, you must know how it goes. A princess locked in a tower and beset by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight, and then they share true love's first kiss.

DONKEY: Hmm? With Shrek? You think- - Wait. Wait. You think that Shrek is you true love?

FIONA: Well...yes.

Donkey and Shrek stare at each other and then burst out laughing.

DONKEY: (Laughing) You think Shrek is your true love!

FIONA: (Annoyed) What is so funny?

SHREK: Let's just say I'm not your type, okay?

Fiona: Of course, you are. You're my rescuer. Now - - Now remove your helmet.

SHREK: Look. I really don't think this is a good idea.

FIONA: Just take off the helmet.

SHREK: I'm not going to.

FIONA: Take it off.

SHREK: No!

FIONA: Now!

SHREK: Okay! Easy. As you command,,,your Highness. (takes off his helmet)

Fiona looks at him in shock. Shrek awkwardly grins.

FIONA: You...you're...an ogre.

SHREK: Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming.

FIONA: Well, yes, actually. (tries to laugh) Oh, no. This is all wrong. You're not supposed to be an ogre! (walks off)

SHREK: Princess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay? He's the one who wants to marry you.

FIONA: Well then why didn't he come rescue me?

SHREK: Good question. You should ask him that when we get there.

FIONA: But I have to be rescued by my true love! Not by some ogre and his-- his pet.

DONKEY: Well, so much for noble steed.

SHREK: Look princess you're not making my job any easier.

FIONA: I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. You can tell Lord Farquaad that if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him right here. (takes a seat on a nearby rock)

SHREK: Hey! I'm no one's messenger boy, all right? (Gets up in Fiona's face) I'm a delivery boy.

FIONA: You wouldn't dare. Put me down!

Shrek picks Fiona up and slings her over his shoulder like a bag of potatoes.

FIONA: Ah! Put me down!

SHREK: Ya comin', Donkey?

DONKEY: I'm right behind ya.

FIONA: Put me down, or you will suffer the consequences! This is not dignified! Put me down!

WOODS

A little time has passed and Fiona has calmed down. She hangs limply while Shrek carries her with Donkey walking behind them.