Script from Shrek

Script shrek

Donkey crashes into a pile of knight remains, knocking over a skeleton whose helmet lands on Donkey's head. The skeleton head falls off and Donkey gasps.

SHREK: Donkey, two things, okay? Shut ... up. Now go over there and see if you can find any stairs (Grabs the helmet and puts it on).

DONKEY: Stairs? I thought we was lookin' for the princess.

SHREK: (Picking up pieces of armor) The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower.

DONKEY: What makes you think she'll be there?

SHREK: I read it in a book once. (walks off)

DONKEY: Cool. You handle the dragon. I'll handle the stairs. I'll find those stairs. I'll whip their butt too. Those stairs won't know which way they're goin'.

Donkey wanders off into another room, still talking to himself as he looks around.

DONKEY: I'm gonna take drastic steps. Kick it to the curb. Don't mess with me. I'm the stair master. I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a step right here. I'd step all over it.

Behind a broken wall, a giant eye opens to see an unaware Donkey. Elsewhere, Shrek spots a light in the window of a tower.

SHREK: Well, at least we know where the princess is, but where's the...

DONKEY: Dragon!

Donkey gasps and takes off running as the dragon roars and breathes fire. The dragon chases after Donkey, stomping on the pile of knight remains in its way.

SHREK: Donkey, look out!

Shrek manages to grab Donkey out of the way just as the dragon breathes fire. The dragon is just about to eat Donkey when Shrek grabs agold of its tail.

SHREK: Got ya!

The dragon begins to swing it's tail back and forth with Shrek still holding on, then launces him into the air. Shrek crashes through the roof of the tallest tower and into Fiona's room. Fiona wakes up and looks at him lying on the floor unconscious.

DONKEY: Oh! Aah! Aah!

The dragon now focuses its attention on Donkey, breathing fire at him and forcing him onto a stone bridge. The dragon knocks down portions of the bridge until Donkey is left staying on a lone pillar.

DONKEY: No. Oh, no, No! (the dragon growls) Oh, what large teeth you have. (the dragon roars) I mean white, sparkling teeth. I know you probably hear this all time from your food, but you must bleach, 'cause that is one dazzling smile you got there. Do I detect a hint of minty freshness?

The dragon appears to be flattered by Donkey's compliments.

DONKEY: And you know what else? You're-- You're a girl dragon! Oh, sure! I mean, of course you're a girl dragon. You're just reeking of feminine beauty. (the dragon begins fluttering her eyes at him) What's the matter with you? You got something in your eye?

Dragon blows a heart-shaped smoke ring at Donkey.

DONKEY: Ohh. Oh. Oh. Man, I'd really love to stay, but you know, I'm, uh...(coughs) I'm an asthmatic, and I don't know if it'd work out if you're gonna blow smoke rings and stuff. Shrek! (She picks him up with her teeth and happily carries him off) No! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!

FIONA'S TOWER - INTERIOR

Shrek groans as he gets up off the floor, his back to the princess. Fiona, ecstatic to see her knight-in-shining armor, straightens her dress and lays back down on the bed. She then quickly reaches over and gets the bouquet of flowers off the side table. She lays back down and pretends to be asleep. Shrek turns and walks over to her. He bends down over Fiona for a moment and she puckers her lips. Shrek takes her by the shoulders and forcefully shakes her.