"Okay, I'm going! Don't miss me too much." Waving to her mother and brother on the way out (her dad was working earlier, again, on a Saturday!), she finally made her way down the trash-filled sidewalks, down to the shop.
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Lana Kuznetsova was bored. And when she's bored, she panics. Not anything as far as a panic attack, but she starts to overthink everything. From the outfit she wore 3 weeks ago that still plagues her mind, (she knew she shouldn't have worn that skirt with that top!), to the thought of you-know-who.
Unfortunately, we aren't talking about Voldemort.
Ever since Jess Mariano left without a word, Lana hasn't been the same. To the naked eye, she was the same. She dressed the same, talked the same, ate the same, everything was the same—but she didn't think so. If anything, she's surprised no one has noticed her outlandish behaviour, she thought it was obvious. But obviously not.
She's been replaying their last conversation in her head for at least 20 minutes, writing her thoughts in her journal. Almost like she was annotating her conversation. She would mention the exact feelings she felt when she said some specific words, and the feelings she felt when Jess would speak. That's how bored she was.
You see, around a year ago, Lana Kuznetsova concluded. A conclusion that would go on to change her life for all the wrong reasons. She wasn't able to look him in the eye for around a month. It was bad. It was affecting her life in more ways than she could ever imagine. You know how people always say 'the world doesn't revolve around you.', well, she thought differently. Not just because she had immense confidence that your regular teenage girl would be jealous of, but also because she believed the whole world knew. Now obviously that wasn't the case, but you can't blame the girl! Lana thought that somehow, the words that had never left her mind had uttered their way into the large population of New York City, and she was sure of it.
There was no other explanation as to why it felt like every single person on that trash-filled sidewalk would look at her! Well, apart from the fact that she was wearing hot pink knee-high boots with her black joggers to match the leather jacket she always wore. That could be a factor. However, Lana was in her overthinking phase, so she ruled that out early in her moment. Because obviously her fashion choices were less likely to get stares compared to the thoughts that had somehow worked it's way into the minds of other people she didn't know... it's a miracle she's passing her classes.
Anyway, she broke out of her daydream when she realised she had already broken her agreement with herself. She was meant to hate him! So why is she unable to stop thinking about him? She wanted revenge, not love! She wanted to hate him. And she tried but to no avail. No matter what, she couldn't stop, it was mortifying. Yesterday, she read one of those magazines that tell you your horoscope and whether you're a mini skirt kinda girl or a long skirt kinda girl and she came across a page called: 'How to know if you like someone, or if you just like the idea of them'. Since when has 'US Weekly' known anything other than celebrity controversies?
Reading through the well-chosen words, Lana came to the same conclusion she had come to the previous year. She knew she wasn't overreacting! All of that overthinking must've paid off, because of US Weekly she became aware of the truth. I mean, she realistically became aware of the truth about a year ago, but she was certain now.
She was destined more than ever to get her revenge. Revenge for what? She doesn't know yet, but she'll think of something, she always does. In all honesty, she didn't actually know what she was going to do if she ever managed to track him down. She's making it seem like it's this FBI investigation, just think how much she could do on their budget! She would demand answers to why he left without a mention, it's not like he doesn't have a phone or her address, it's his fault. Right? But now, since she knew her destiny (for the time being, of course, she doesn't want to die whilst hunting down Jess Mariano, what a shit way to go), she would hunt that motherfucker down, and make him apologise for not telling her where he was. (Andfor not burning her that CD he promised!)
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📍hellloooooooo can u believe I actually posted a fic and actually wrote for it? Insane behaviour coming from me don't expect this again 📍 I'm genuinely in love with Jess so this is gonna be me just living that fantasy out. Other than dave ofc (lane x dave > lane x zach btw) 📍 i hope u liked this, I don't usually write this much tbh but I wanted to intro Lana more instead of focusing on Jess because even if it's a Jess x lana it's still focused on Lana and her thought process 📍can u believe I wrote like 1250 words ??? This is a new me 📍 also I can confirm that I have projected myself onto Lana, especially in the synopsis LMFAO whoops!
