Boorista ~ A Tomboo Fanfiction

Chapter 110

He held my hand, "I love you too much to keep you from having a better future."

I got up, "I'm gonna go....work on those things."

He quickly moved his laptop off of him and sat up. He grabbed my hand, "Babe......I'm not saying any of this because I want to be away from you. I'm saying this because I want what's best for you....I love you."

"I love you too Tommy..." I replied and kissed his hand. Then I dropped his hand and walked away to our room, leaving him in the living room.

I began to tear up. Tears pricked my eyes and it hurt....it stung. I leaned against the door and slowly slid down to sit on the floor as tears finally poured down my cheeks. I sat there on the floor hugging my knees tight to my chest. Curled up in a ball, tears falling down to soak my shirt and wet my bare knees.

...

I know that my Tommy is right.

I know I should listen to him.

I know I should stop being scared and just give them some thought.

I know I need to get passed what's bothering me.

I know I need to get passed my worries and fears.

I know I should consider all the good schools that have accepted me....and especially the ones that have given me offers......,but-

....

I just can't imagine my life without Tommy.

I can't even imagine long distance!

I'd kill me!

It would really ruin us for good. 

I'd miss him all the time. I wouldn't be able to focus on my work and studies, which would make it absolutely pointless that I'd even gone there in the first place!

...

And I guess...

......That's also why I acted so distant.

I was afraid that if I didn't work hard enough, I'd lose him....

That if I showed him my offers, he'd make me go to one of the good schools because that's just the kind of person he is.

He loves me so much that he'd break up with me, just so I could have a better future and I know it.

Though, if we broke up...it'd be the same scenario as long distance, just worse.

I'd be depressed. I'd fail every class, and jeezus christ- I wouldn't even get up to go to them.

I wouldn't even get up to eat.....use the restroom...to shower....to do anything!

Sure, I could beg him to wait for me...

And I know he wouldn't even hesitate to tell me yes.

Heck, he'd wait an eternity for me.

He'd cut off everyone and all attractions for me....and I know cause I'd do the same for him.

But what kind of a person would that make me?!

To put the weight of waiting on him.

I'd never!

....

Which is why if we broke up...

I'd give school.....and life...zero effort.

...

He loves me just as much as I love him and I know it....we love each other like no one else does.

It's unreal.......

And....

I hate that he does, but.....I also love it.

...

Either way,......I'll never leave him.

....

....And I'll never let him let me go.

...

Same way I'll never let him go.

....

Because...

Your my soul.

Your my heart.

Your my entire life.

Your my everything.

...

Without you...

....

What even am I?

...

That's why......I can't-

No...

That's why I won't....

...

...tell you about the offers.

1,075 words
Had a school event that's why I was late. My bad guys. Anyways, hope you enjoyed. Thankyou for reading, till next time gamers!