What do you See?

I'm Sorry

It was quiet, so quiet his thoughts echoed. They were all he had, and nothing he wanted. Adrien tugged the blanket tighter around him, but they were already inside with him.

He was a disappointment. Twice over now, both with his father and... her. Ladybug's face flashed before his eyes; her encouraging smile, her beautiful confidence, her stunning poise. Then mercilessly those images were replaced. Ladybug angry, Ladybug frustrated, Ladybug turning to leave him behind.

How had he failed her? Was it all in his love for her? He had hoped she would understand, but it made her so mad. He had stopped, clamped down his feelings and hid the pain it caused him to do so. Was it just too little too late? She had already begun gathering others by then, more and more new heroes to help her in his place. Now she had a whole host of heroes at her beck and call. She had no need to wait for a pushy old tomcat to show up.

Adrien sucked in a breath, it came out ragged. In the dark of his blanket cocoon every mistake came back to him; every time he hadn't measured up for Ladybug, or his father. He began to guess at mistakes not pointed out. Had he arrived too late? Had he not fought hard enough?

In the middle of it all another face emerged, another person he had failed. Those crimson eyes stared at him with a naked pain, a pain he hadn't understood at the time. Did he understand now? Did she feel like this? He couldn't imagine anyone caring that much about him. Her pain had been real though, only now with nowhere else to go but his own head did those events really sink in.

It had been a pain powerful enough it took his own life to defeat. All for a lie. To keep a secret, for his Ladybug.

Adrien swallowed, his throat was raw. In that sharpness a small rebellious voice whispered. It wasn't a secret anymore. He couldn't do much, but maybe this one small thing, one person he could try to apologize to meaningfully. Would it work?

"Plagg do you think-"

Adrien froze. There was no one to hear him. His room seemed to grow larger still, the emptiness swallowing his very existence. Another person he had failed, a friend, the best of friends.

A brief flash of energy, self loathing overcoming sadness, Adrien tore off his blanket and grabbed his phone from the nightstand. His fingers flew across the keys and the message was sent.

That done, he let the phone fall to the mattress. His eyes caught sight of the black sock atop the trash, more pain, Adrien fell back onto the bed. The covers were bunched, the position uncomfortable. Adrien couldn't bring himself to move. His phone glinted with the message's 'read' notification before winking off.

Adrien: I need to talk to you as soon as possible. I need to tell you I'm sorry, and something else more important.

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"I am here to see Adrien."

"He is not available today, I am sorry."

"I was invited."

A pause, then the intercom crackled to life again. "When he is well enough to attend school we can arrange a time for guests. I am sorry you have come all this way for nothing, Miss Tsurugi."

Kagami frowned at the speaker, folding her arms but keeping her tone even. "You are making this difficult."

"I apologize again for your inconvenience. I will pass on to Adrien that you stopped by. Good day."

The speaker cut off and the light beside it winked out. Kagami narrowed her eyes at the high walls. "Difficult is not the same thing as impossible."

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