Beetlejuice oneshots 🪲

A New Life

Adam blinked. "All right," he replied uncertainly. "What about us do you want to hear?"

Lydia thought for a moment. "I know. What's one thing that you wished you could have done before you died?" She often talked with the two of them about their death (considering it had taken place in her house, she had a lot of questions). But this time, Adam and Barbara went silent, and shared a look that she couldn't read. "What?"

"Oh," Barbara said, like she'd forgotten Lydia was there for a few seconds. "Well, one thing that Adam and I always wanted to do was learn another language."

"That's right," Adam jumped in. "Spanish. We've always wanted to learn Spanish."

Lydia smiled. "I mean, you guys can still do that, right? I know you're ghosts, but you can talk, and think, and stuff. What's stopping you from learning right now?"

She expected them to agree with her, but both of them just avoided her gaze. She sighed. Maybe now wasn't the best time to talk about them, either. Adam took a sip from his tiny paper cup. Nobody said anything else.

Finally, Barbara got up. "Adam, do you know where the bathroom is?"

"I do, but what do you even— ow," he winced as she took his arm and hastily pulled him out of the waiting room. Lydia leaned back in her chair and stared up at the ceiling. This was going to be a long night for her.

Once they were in the bathroom, Barbara locked the door and looked at her husband. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" she asked.

"Ghost sex?"

"No—" Barbara exhaled in frustration. "What Lydia said about what we wanted to do before we died. And, you know, the whole thing we were waiting and waiting to do, right before?" She stared at him helplessly. Right before the Maitlands had died, they'd really only wanted to do one thing: have a baby.

"I know," he responded, running a hand through his hair. "I was thinking about that earlier, actually. Not that I'm not psyched for Delia and Charles, it's just..."

Barbara nodded. "I like how things are going right now, Adam. Believe me. I like living with the Deetzes! But sometimes I wish we had just made up our minds while we still had the chance."

There was a knock on the bathroom door, making Adam jump. "Give us a minute!" he called. "I mean, me." He turned back to Barbara and lowered his voice to a whisper. "I get what you mean. We never got to do that, and now we have an eternity to regret it."

"Maybe it's not all bad," she said, trying to look on the bright side. "If we did have a baby, it would have gotten left alone when we, inevitably, died, right?"

"I guess so? I was kind of wishing we didn't die at all. You know? Of course, we never would have met Lydia and the rest of them..."

"Exactly! Don't you see? We were the only ones who could help her— we died for a reason!" She paused. "Oh my God, I sound like Delia."

"Okay, you're right! It was... it was for the best." He looked unconvinced, though, and Barbara wasn't feeling very confident in it herself. They were glad that things with Lydia had turned out the way they did, of course. But she wasn't sure she would ever be satisfied not knowing what could have happened if their lives hadn't ended so quickly.

There was another knock on the door, and it sounded impatient, so Adam promptly unlocked the door and opened it. Lydia was standing there, looking at them with a frown.

"Are you okay?" she wanted to know. "You just kind of got up and walked away. Did I say something that—?"

"No, Lydia, you didn't do anything," Barbara assured her, pushing past Adam to pull her into a tight hug. "We were just talking about... life."

"Life?" Lydia asked, her voice muffled.

"Before we died," Adam answered quickly. Lydia stepped back and looked at both of them, suspecting there was something they weren't telling her. Before she could ask them anything, she felt a hand on her shoulder from behind, and whirled around to see her father.

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you," Charles said, removing his hand. "I just came to tell you that the labour is going well, and you might have a new little brother very soon." He smiled. "But in the meantime, you three, feel free to go home, at least until Delia is feeling up to having visitors."

"No, Dad, I want to stay here," Lydia replied firmly. "I can't miss this! We'll be fine in the waiting room, now go, your wife is about to have a baby!" He laughed as she gestured for him to leave.

Adam pushed his hands into his pockets and looked at the floor. Barbara bit the inside of her cheek nervously.

"Lydia?" she began, and the living girl turned back to look at her. "I think... Adam and I might head home soon. Are you sure you'll be fine here on your own?"

Lydia's smile faded. "What do you mean? Don't you guys want to stick around to see the baby?"

"Well, the thing is, we'd love to see the baby," Adam said awkwardly. "And we still will! When Delia's up to it. Which will probably be tomorrow. So, maybe we should just come back then."

"How come you don't want to stay here?"

Adam's eyes darted expectantly to his wife, who sighed and clasped her hands together. "We... we just don't think we're ready... for, um..."

"Lydia, let me tell you a story," Adam cut in. Lydia stared at him with her brow furrowed.

"Okay. Let me guess. You guys wanted to have children before you died, but never got the chance to, and thinking about my dad having a baby is bringing up a bunch of regret?" she suggested.

Perhaps the two of them weren't being as secretive as they'd thought about what was on their minds that night. Adam rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Okay, so... you picked up on that."

"Why didn't you just tell me?" Lydia asked them, her hands in the air. "This whole time I was wondering what had you two sneaking around—"

"We haven't been sneaking around for that long," Barbara pointed out.

"Besides, it's kind of hard to explain," added her husband. "It's not like we regret what led us to where we are now, it's just that we wish we had made some changes."

Lydia sighed. "Guys, I get it, okay? And for the record, if you ever had become parents, you would have been great at it."

"Really?" Barbara smiled.

"Yeah, you're awesome with me. You kind of literally saved my life. So..."

"Lydia!" Barbara grabbed her and hugged her again, before she could protest. "Look, Adam, we don't need to have a baby of our own. We already have the most amazing daughter in the world."

Lydia helplessly gave her a thumbs up.

Adam looked at his wife. "So, you're okay?"

"Yeah." She released Lydia and met his gaze. "Are you?"

"...Yeah."

Barbara turned to Lydia. "We still might go home, though. I think we could..." She shared a glance with Adam. "...use a distraction."

"I'm coming with you," Lydia responded, giving the ghosts an affirming smile. "I'll go tell my dad that we'll be back in the morning." And before either of them could object, she was off to find Delia's hospital room.

The two of them watched her leave, their worries from earlier that night having (mostly) vanished. It didn't matter what kind of family they had, it just mattered that they had one.

"You know what, I'm going to get some more water," Adam said after a while, letting go of Barbara's hand and making his way toward the waiting room.

Barbara quickly followed. "I'm going to go and help you work the water cooler," she told him.

"Right. Thank you." He grinned as they walked down the hall together. For the first time that day, they felt complete.