LOVESICK {Cameron James}

CHAPTER FOUR

"Now, I have gathered a group of guys. Couldn't be more perfect. Padua's finest." The boys entered a dark hall in the back of the school. Waiting for an offer to date a girl, Michael definitely hyped up far too much. Unsatisfied, Cameron shot Michael a weak grin.

    "Hi." Cameron started off. "How ya doin'? Would any of you be interested in dating Katarina Stratford?" This was followed by laughter, flat-out declining, or pure terror. Cameron started to think this truly was impossible.

一一一

    Now in biology class, the two made a lazy attempt at dissecting frogs. Cameron was visibly down, discouraged from their bad start at plan B, and Michael was too busy gloating. "Did I, or did I not, tell you it was pointless? No one will go out with her."

    "Hey, what about him?" Cameron gestured towards a very tough-looking guy, who was distracted, violently dissecting his frog.

    "Him? No no. Don't look at him, okay?" Michael leaned into Cameron, as to not be heard by other students. "He's a criminal. I heard he lit a state trooper on fire. He just did a year in San Quentin."

    "Yeah, well, then at least he's horny." Cameron joked, not convinced by the words his friend was whispering.

    "I'm serious, man, he's whacked. He sold his own liver on the black market for a new set of speakers."

    "He's our guy." He was perfect for Kat. Which was perfect for Cameron, just the thought of dating Julia made his cheeks turn an embarrassing shade of red. The boys turned and looked at Patrick Verona, the guy they now sure was going to date Kat. After minutes of staring, Patrick looked up noticing them staring. Cameron and James quickly turned away, scared of his gaze.

一一一

    Contemplating, the boys stood by the window. "How do we get him to date Kat?" Michael asked, now letting Cameron take the lead on this impossible plan.

    "I don't know. I mean, uh, we could pay him." Cameron sighed, "But we don't have any money."

    "Yeah, well, what we need is a backer."

    "What's that?"

    "Someone with money who's stupid." And with that, Michael knew exactly who to ask.

一一一

    Joey and his friends sat at their usual lunch table. Today, the group felt like touching their artistic side today, so they all took turns drawing female parts on the food trays. Michael walked up to Joey, about to propose his genius plan. Well, he was only doing it because Cameron chickened out.

    Casual as could be in this situation, Michael sits in the empty seat next to Joey. "Are you lost?" Joey pondered, unable to think that a guy like him would even think he could be near this table.

    "No, actually, I just came by to chat."

    "We don't chat."

    "Well, actually, I thought that I'd run an idea by you. Just to see if you're interested."

    Without thought, Joey replied, "I'm not."

    "Well, hear me out. Now..." Because of a serious case of boredom, Joey takes his marker and starts drawing a phallic object on Michael's cheek. "I know you've heard that Julia has a new Spanish tutor. And obviously, that's not ideal because he actually has a thing for her."

Unimpressed with his obvious statement, I mean, what guy hasn't had a thing for Julia? Joey asks, "Does this conversation have a purpose?"

"What I think you need to do is, you need to get the tutor, Cameron, and Bianca together. He'll be distracted and then you'll have nothing to worry about. So, you need to hire a guy who'll go out with Kat. Someone who doesn't scare so easy." He says while pointing to Patrick.

"That guy? I heard he ate a live duck once."

"Everything but the beak and the feet. Clearly, he's a solid investment."

Confused about why Michael is so invested in his love life, Joey asked, "What's in it for you?"

    Making up a lie on the spot, Michael says, "Hey. I'm walkin' down the hall and say hello to you. You say hello to me."

    "Yeah yeah. I get it. You're cool by association. I'll think about it." Truth be told, Joey thought it was a great idea. The thought of getting that hormone-driven, sixteen-year-old off of Julia sounded pretty appealing. But, he couldn't let Michael know that he'd said something smart. "We're done now."

    Leaving, Michael rushed over to Cameron. Visibly upset, Cameron questions why he would involve Julia's boyfriend, and Cameron's mortal enemy. "What are you doing getting him involved?"

    "Relax now, relax. We let him pretend he's calling the shots. While he's setting up things with you and Bianca you'll have lots of chances to "double date," he says with air quotes over the last two words. "With Julia. Woo her then."

    "That is a good idea," Cameron responds enthusiastically.

一一一

    During gym class, Joey initiates the first step of "his plan". Smugly walking over to Patrick, he says "Hey, how ya doin'?" Patrick completely ignores him, and doesn't even look his way. Trying to break the ice, Joey speaks again. "I had some great duck last night..."

    "Do I know you?" Patrick finally chimed in.

    "See that girl?" He points to Kat, playing soccer on the field across from them.

    "Yeah."

    "That's Kat Stratford. I want you to go out with her."

Upon hearing Joey's words, Patrick and his friend laugh at his ridiculous idea. Sarcastically, he responds, "Yeah sure, Sparky."

"Look. My friend can't date her sister until Kat starts dating. You see, their dad's whacked out. He's got this rule where the girls..."

Cutting him off, Patrick sarcastically says, "That's a touching story. It really is. Not my problem."

"Would you be willing to make it your problem if I provide generous compensation?"

    "You're going to pay me to take out some chick?"

    "Mmm-hmm." And just like that, Cameron and Michael's plan was in action.