hidden

Before it changed everything.

I knew this hunk back when I was 6 and now we are both 16. I know everything about him like he does me.

He knows when I lost my first tooth. I remember when I first slept over, stay up all night giggling till the early morning hours. We are the same now.

The way we used to walk hand in hand back from school. Ever since he has done everything to prove how much he cares for me. We have done everything and anything for a lot of years.

I'm 16 and so is he, he is almost 17 . He always has called me his beauty since I can remember but he is so popular with girls.

For the last 3 years he has been smothered with every type of girl you can remember. we don't go the same school as you know but sometimes it gets to me. We were so close, he used to walk me to my door and softly kiss my sensitive right cheek on my face.

I remember when I was the only girl he ever looked at or thought of but now all that has changed. I remember when we had those long strolls in the park, just taking the long way home so that we saw more of each other.

I remember after those dreadful, laughable S.R.E lessons with him wanting to know more about girls and getting 21 questions about us female kind. Its those annoying little bits like him poking me and smiling afterwards that I miss.

Those long school days don't ever seem the same as they did back a few years ago. Now all those "girl" questions that I'd answer hasnt really helped me. You tell me what a girl is because, we are labeled as so many different things.

Rhis never needs my advice now, he goes to his girlfriend for that. I used to have Rhis all to myself, it's hard to share someone that incredible with another person like her.

She doesn't believe that our friendship is just friendship, she has it in her thick skull that I'm just some jealous ex he dated a while back who wants him. Err...how wrong can she be!

I love him more than she ever will but I have never told him, I always made sure he had a healthy(ish) lunch.

Thanks to me being a smart Lil' kid when I was 10 he is now eating exactly what he should be eating. It's only because I cared about him so much, I wanted him to realize that.

Fiona, ewww Fiona. What kind of name is Fiona(no offense) ? His girlfriend's name maybe. Look it's hard growing up with someone as amazing and awesome as him and not getting nothing back sometimes.

I just want some more special memories before my special not-so-little guy leaves. What's so wrong with that? Exactly, it might seem I'm a Lil jelous but that's because I love him and he loves her.

Anyways back to when we were Lil kids playing in our backyards and didn't care about a single thing in the world. Here, let me share with you a magical afternoon that changed our friendship forever.

It was the summer of '05 when Rhis was new to this place called "Dagenham".He had no idea that the minute his family struck a knock on my door everythig would change.

He was 6 and I was turning 6. He loved playing dolls with me even though he properly hated it, he didn't care or seemed not to.

He saw me play and he was like " hey I'm Rhis and you seem like you need help with that dolly. She needs to wear better dresses. Here try this one."

He just sat down next to me and he gave me an amazing dolly dress that was my favorite colour even now, blue. We just started playing and it was the best afternoon I ever had because before then I always played alone.

He said "thanks for keeping me company. I'm new. Live across there near u. I'll come every afternoon I promise." Hugged me and walked away.

I looked out of my bedroom window watching his little 6 year old body run across the road to his house. I couldn't wait for what was yet to come. I didn't know then that he would be the cause of my happiness.

He stuck to that promise and everyday of summer '05 he came and played with me. Gaining my trust and I gain his. He loved playing, one day we made a fort and it was my first sleepover. Mum didn't care she just wanted me to be happy.

We dressed up.
We had pretend tea.
We played dolly.
We played wedding.
We played mummy and daddy.
We played something new every afternoon but when September came things changed.

At this point September and more was the best point in my primary school life. Every afternoon we would go round each others house for tea and then stay at the others . It was like we were in our own little world and everyday was a new different game. we ended up inventing our own.

This carried on till the end of year 6. The games matured obviously as we did but it was still the same situation. We spent every minute with each other but when we got our school choices everything changed.

We still lived in the same house, same street, same people but different schools. We didn't know how we would take it, I took it pretty well I suppose because we went to the same school but different branches.

What I mean is we both went to St Trench's but I went to St Trench's School for Girls and he went to St Trench's School for Boys.

I didn't want to go there but he did. Mornings, breaks, lunch and after school was never the same. He was basically my "online" friend than my real friend. Priorities took over but it didn't stop me from feeling the way I have all these years.

He tells me I'm his beautiful princess even though he has Fiona. I haven't seen Rhis now in 4 months but we are due a catch up soon.

He will proberly let me down again. We are suppose to at least have one afternoon every two weeks but Fiona takes over me at the moment.

He says Girlfriends over friends when before it was friends over Girlfriends. I wonder what's going to happen if I ever get a boyfriend.

Yes I'm 16: yes I'm a virgin, yes I haven't ever had a boyfriend because I only wanted the one person.

My first date.
My first kiss.
My first everything.
I want it to be with Rhis.