Project: Evolution Explicit

Genesis

It's dark, really dark. Nothing can be seen.

"In the beginning, Arceus was with the Word, and the Word was with Arceus, and Arceus said, "WHAT IN MY NAME AM I DOING?!?"

Someone quickly removes a cap from a camera to reveal that this is only a recording of past events. Iron Mon faintly plays in the background. It looks like the inside of a warehouse. An Eevee in a brown shirt and CADPAT trousers runs in front of the camera and waves.

"Hi there, umm, my name's Ketster, and as you can tell, I'm an Eevee and, well, I mean. If you're watching this, then chances are," he starts to count on his paw, "I bought a farm, kicked a bucket and decided to take a real long nap in the ground."

He stands there and grimaces with his paws curled into fists on his hips and has his chest puffed out a bit. He exhales, hunches over and let his arms dangle above the floor.

"Okay, let's face it, if you are actually watching this, then things are really bad because this is Top Secret sorta stuff with Protected C every here and there and-." He cuts himself off. He looks off screen and yells.

"Hey, Johnny! You good there?"

Something clatters to the ground. Ketster cringes as wood splinters and metal clangs. He grabs his ears and pulls them down. As voices can be heard in the background, Ketster closes his eyes and faces his head to the floor. He pinches the bridge of his snout and opens an eye to watch a tyre roll in between himself and the camera.

"Would you guys like some-WOAH!" Ketster drops to the ground as a plume of fire is shot above him, and the tip of his tail has been lit on fire. Voices can be heard getting louder. Ketster licks his index finger and thumb and extinguishes the fire. He removes his shirt and throws it onto the ground.

"This thing does not help in this case. HEY JOHNNY! I NEED TO HAVE A WORD WITH YOU!"

The camera cuts to another scene, Ketster's sitting on a couch, he's got a couple of burns on him. The surrounding area, including the couch, is scorched in numerous places.

"Kids, fight with friends, it's a true test of friendship and brotherly bonds. So, Johnny, a Flareon, decided he'd try and carry half the load from the truck. As you can tell..." He gestures around himself, "didn't end too well." He starts counting off names on his paws and gesturing in different directions as he goes on.

"Mjolnir's a Jolteon, don't let him near technology, it never works the same afterwords. Thatch is a Vaporeon, and he may refuse to go on a boat as he prefers swimming over it. Funny thing is, he loves boats all the same, he's also faster than most boats you can go on. Johnny, um, Hiemdall, Espeon, great guy, great with computers, don't let him touch a vehicle in the maintenance department, refer back to Mjolnir. Shadow, Umbreon, fighter and brawler, as most of us are, prefers stealth missions at night, you can assume why. Lihd, (lee-h-d) Glaceon, vehicle maintenance and computer maintenance, basically the mother of our group, great cook too-." A rolling pin hits Ketster in the head.

"Ow, I was expecting a slipper."

"And I was expecting someplace nice like the GTA or the West Coast, but noooo, we got desolate butt fucking middle of nowhere, ********!!!"

Ketster cringes and reels back a bit while getting yelled at. "Going to have to blip that out after this is done and over with." Ketster sighed, "The good part about being in-." He reels back as a spatula gets thrown in front of him.

"What was that?!?"

"Nothing! Right, so, where was I? Oh right, Lihd, no wait, just did him, man can he give a cold shoulder. Hahahahaha-." A blizzard move gets used off-screen, Ketster and the couch are immediately frozen into an ice block. The block starts to vibrate as cracks form and Ketster blows the ice block into tiny pieces. He smiles.