Hostage of Your Heart - A Larry Stylinson AU

Chapter 17 - Letters from Beyond

“So beautiful,” Louis continued. “He had these thick, rich, brown curls that seemed to go on for miles. And when he’d look down, the fringe would fall into his green eyes. I loved those eyes… I love them…”

And him?

“I still love him,” replied Louis, sniffling. “So much. I wish I had never hurt him, had never given him a reason to leave.” He was fully crying now.

Not sure what else to do, Harry stuck his pinky through the hole in the wall. He waited patiently but eventually, he could feel Louis’ pinky wrapped around his own. He closed his eyes at the contact. Right now, he needed some touch of the life he had before it became a million times more complicated and Louis was the closest thing he could get to that. At least for now.

And so they stayed like that. Their hands tied up like two ships, drifting and weightless.

***

Harry and Louis continued to have their bad days and their worse days but the one thing that remained consistent through it all was that they talked about everything. Of course, Harry had to monitor what he divulged to Louis lest he reveal himself, which he was still not ready to do. He was unsure whether or not he would ever be ready to do so. The more he thought about it, the more he feared Louis’ reaction if he knew that he was in this hellhole as well.

They also crossed pinkies often through the door. Both boys would take turns initiating it. Sometimes one would hear the other crying or sigh and would stick his pinky through to show that he was there for him. Or sometimes, it would just be to make sure that they were not alone and that the other was not a figment of the imagination.

“I feel like you’re holding back,” said Louis, squeezing Harry’s pinky gently one evening. “Like you’re afraid of something.”

Harry did not respond, his heart rate increasing. Louis did not expect a response though since the hole was occupied so he continued to speak.

“I’m fairly decent at reading people,” he proceeded. “I did decent in psychology when I was in school.” Harry rolled his eyes fondly. “Are you, H?”

Harry simply squeezed Louis’ finger in response so the older boy let it drop.

“I hope I can hear your voice one day,” said Louis softly. “I’m sure it’s lovely.”

I hope so too.

No, said the voice in the back of his head. He’s the reason you’re here. He hurt you and broke you until the rest of them left you a shattered mess. He doesn’t love you, no one does.

That’s not true, Harry thought to himself, digging his nails into the hand that was not linked to Louis’. He loved me. He said he still loves me. A love like that doesn’t fade.

You’re as worthless as Nick says. You’re worth everything he does to you.

No, insisted Harry. No, I’m –

He suddenly heard the door click and he immediately pulled away from Louis, jumping back into his bed where he normally spent his time whenever someone entered.

“Hershel?” came Louis’ faded voice from the hole. “Are you okay?” His concern would have touched Harry under other circumstances if he was not so afraid for his life.

“Hello angel.”

Harry swallowed, the tears forming pools in his eyes. He could feel himself shaking and refused to make eye contact with Nick.