𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙖𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙨 𝙨𝙚𝙤𝙧𝙨𝙪𝙢 [𝙫𝙢𝙞𝙣 𝙛𝙛]

•Cyan, Red, Silver Rope Burns•

"Hmm... What about you, Yoongi Hyung? What do you think? I kinda thought that I wouldn't let you all know about this- whatever this is, but you know I can't make any decisions without hearing out what you think right?"

Yoongi let out a soft smile and said, "I know Minie, we know. But for the first time, I think I agree with Hobi. But first, send out a letter to ask him to come visit for a week or so. You can call it a sort of familiarizing period or something. You know, just reason it with stuff like, you can't just agree out of nowhere, you need time to get to know each other before you take any further actions blah blah. And ask him to come alone. We do not want a surprise attack once again."

"That makes sense actually." Jimin breathed out a sigh, "Well, now I just need some willpower to write out that letter- and no, Hobi, he knows my handwriting well enough by now, you don't have to write it out for me, it would just cause unnecessary problems for us." Weaving a hand through his hair, he gently tugged on the locks, feeling the stretch release some of the built-up tension in his head. "Thanks, guys, I'll take my leave first, Night."

Simultaneously goodbyes were returned back as Jimin moved towards his inner chambers. Exhaustion from the day made a home in his bones and he could feel a headache coming in.

Inside his inner chambers, he took some time to take in some fresh air, clear his mind. As he made his way towards the benches in his courtyard, he could no longer bear to keep fueling his own dilemma. What's the best he could lose? His life, his kingdom? It wasn't his, to begin with. This courtyard, this chamber, this whole entire castle wasn't his, to begin with. It was someone else's before that person snatched it away.

He looked up at the night sky and the abundant stars that were strewn across it were reflected in the light-colored eyes.

He took a deep breath and finally made the decision.

He has nothing to lose anyway. 

And that was his first mistake.

- - - 

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck, I can't do this. I'm basically giving up my whole life. No no no no, I can't allow that, I'm not ready to get married and totally not with someone who sees me as their enemy."

Even after making the final decision, Jimin could not keep the panic attacks at bay, he failed to make them not resurface but he knew it won't be able to hold them back.

He was in an air full of fresh air, yet he felt like he was drowning. One, two, three. He heaved lungful breaths, yet they somehow seemed to not reach his lungs.

He couldn't breathe.

A manic smile overtook his face as he realized the irony of his thoughts- He was being asphyxiated by himself. Soft smiles made way for softer chuckles till all he could hear was his own hysterical laughter. As his laughing fit lost its momentum, tears poured out of his red eyes, he really couldn't breathe.

Clawing at his chest, he tried calming himself down.

Okay, okay, breathe in a pattern, in a pattern, pattern. 1, 2, 3...

It didn't work this time.

Music, music, music, where's the fucking music? No, where's the fucking recorder?

He scrambled to his feet to look for his recorder, but all he could see now were small black dots scattered over his vision. He fell down on his knees, begging to stay afloat and not get pulled down by this unwavering tide. His hand touched the cool familiar metal and finally, he breathed a sigh of relief. Trembling hands switched on the device and soothing music crept inside his ears.