Ended Up With Color Blue

CHAPTER: 21

How long do I have to suffer, how long do I have to gamble my happiness and dreams? Because I'm so exhausted, there's nothing left for myself.

I'm not ready to talk about it while he's not completely well.

You can see a lot of fruit on the table. Ryan and Jacob also visited dad. They were with me earlier but they left because they still have work to do.

I was sitting on the side of dad’s bed, he was asleep now. I'm just waiting for manang to come to take care of daddy, manang left earlier to cook healthy food for dad so that dad's health can quickly return to normal.

While I was waiting for Manang, I first went to the table and sat on the chair. I landed my reviewer, there was a test again to take place for our 3rd grading. I didn't even realise that we were about to split up, in a few months and we would all take a different path.

I spent a few minutes reading until all of a sudden my eyes closed due to fatigue and drowsiness. I woke up to a faint tap on my shoulder.

I slowly opened my eyes, I saw Manang's face mixed with concern. "Umuwi kana hijo para makapag pahinga ka na," sabi ni Manang. Tumango ako at niligpit ang aking mga gamit at nagtungo sa pinto. 

Sa huling pagkakataon tumingin ako kay Dad na mahimbing na natutulog, nag-aayos naman si manang sa lamesa para sa kakainin ni Dad mamaya. Bumuga ako ng hangin at binuksan ang pinto. 

Naabutan ko sa labas si Tito, ang kaibigan ni Dad, kasama niya si Kylie. They were carrying fruits. Tito told kylie to give us privacy. She nodded and looked at me. When Kylie got away, Tito immediately confronted me. "We both know your daddy's condition, I know you're worried too." he tapped my shoulder. "Your daddy needs help, your company needs you. Don't let the company your daddy worked for collapse." When Tito and I finished talking, he asked me permission to enter Dad's room so I nodded.

I'm in my car, my brain is in a mess right now. Pakiramdam ko wala na akong kawala sa mga responsibilidad na ayaw kong akuin. Ginulo ko ang aking buhok.

As soon as I got up I immediately started operating my car until I reached Jacob's condo. I caught them both with Ryan playing a video game. They immediately noticed my presence so they stopped what they were doing.

"Let's drink even just now."

Hindi namin alintana ang oras na lumilipas, punong puno ng bote ng beer ang table sa salas dahil sa aming tatlo, naramdaman ko na din ang hilo kaya napahawak ako sa aking ulo. "Tumigil na kaya tayo, hindi ito ang solusyon para sa problema mo," sabi ni Jacob. 

Wala namang imik si Ryan na kanina pang kumakain ng snack. I looked up at them. "Why me? Why do I still have to suffer?" I can't help but to ask.

My grip on the bottle tightened. Suddenly the expression on their faces changed, their expression softened.

I bowed and spoke again, "I know I haven't been a good person but do I deserve to be deprived of freedom?" ang bigat ng pakiramdam ko ngayon. 

"Maybe there's a reason why that's happening to you," Ryan said.

"All my life I thought I believed that I had no destination… and suddenly the day came when someone believed in myself, again believing in myself that I could live my dream but now I guess I can't fully fulfil it."