𝘿𝙖𝙯𝙚𝙙 // 𝙏𝙤𝙙𝙙

𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙉𝙞𝙣𝙚

Fuck. This is gonna be hell.

***

Me, Dana, Maurecia, Myron, and a few other classmates are standing outside, surrounding Myron and his new baby brother.

By 'baby brother', I mean a head of cabbage.

One of Myron's favorite politicians always wins his elections by kissing a baby. Myron had the bright idea to do the same. Except--instead of a real baby--it's a head of cabbage. Don't know why he can't just get Fido.

Maurecia and Dana coddle the baby, while I cross my arms, uninterested. "Remind me again why you can't just get a real baby?"

Myron simply waves me off, making me roll my eyes at him. A voice coming from behind me practically makes me jump out of my skin.

"Myrons got a new baby brother?" It's Todd. He comes up beside me and inspects the baby closer. "That's not a baby. It's a head of cabbage wrapped inside a blanket."

I subtly take a small step away from Todd, making sure there is enough space between us so I don't start spiraling. My face heats up a bit as I avoid looking at the boy at all costs.

Myron picks up the vegetable from its stroller and puckers his lips. Dana pulls out a camera and points it to the boy. "Okay everyone, smile!" She takes the picture and turns back to me and Todd.

"No, Todd. Actually, it's part of our new campaign for class president." She hands Todd a bundle of newspapers. "Haven't you ever seen this guy? This is one of Myron's favorite politicians. The guy always gets his picture taken kissing a baby, and he always wins his elections."

I build up courage and come up behind Todd to look at the newspapers with him. There is no denying what Dana said. This guy won every single election he has run in.

"Okay, I get it. Kiss a baby, take a picture, win an election," Todd says, a bit exasperated. "but, you've already taken the photo, right? So, then, what's up with Myron?"

We turn to see Myron still coddling the cabbage as if it's a real baby.

Dana puts on the same quizzical face Todd and I have. "Yeah, I know. I didn't count on him getting so attached to Leafy. I just hope Ms.Mush doesn't notice anything missing from her kitchen."

"That's if Ms.Mush would have even used it. That woman puts anything other than real ingredients in her food," I scoff, rolling my eyes slightly. Todd lets out a small chuckle at this, making my heart beat ten times faster.

Holy shit holy fuck oh my god I'm gonna go insane--

Calm down. He just laughed.

His laugh is adorable, though.

Okay just shut the fuck up.

***

Now in class, the rest of our peers crowd around Myron and coddle over the fake baby.

"Not too close now," Myron warns. "he hasn't had all his shots yet."

Todd picks up a wilted leaf off the floor. "Do baby brothers usually lose leaves?"

"That's just one of his baby leaves." Myron turns his attention back to the cabbage. "Tonight, we'll put it under your pillow and you'll get a dollar from the leaf fairy~!"

"Bet you twenty dollars that'll go on for longer than a month," Todd whispers to me, eyes still locked on Myron.

"I bet you fifty dollars that that'll go on for the rest of the school year."