Red strings

Chapter 3: Nessa

No," I said emotionlessly he started sobbing. 

Suddenly warm fills my chest again and the need to comfort and protect him rises up. 

I reach out and pull him into my lap. I start singing softly like mom did whenever one of us had a nightmare 

"I wanna hide the truth, I wanna shelter you but with the beast inside there's nowhere we can hide," I sang to him "this is my kingdom come this is my kingdom come," I start rubbing small circles into his back as he clings to me sobbing "Don't wanna let you down but I am h*ll-bound though this is all for you don't wanna hide the truth no matter what we breed we still are made of greed," he starts to calm down a bit so I continue "They say it's what you make I say it's up to fate it's woven in my soul we need to let her go," I change the lyrics a little bit to fit our current situation "Your eyes they shine so bright," I lift his chin to look into his eyes "I wanna save that light I can't escape this now unless you show me how," He's stopped crying by the time I've finished the song I lean down and press my forehead to his 

"I'm sorry this happened on your birthday," he whispered softly 

"And I'm sorry you won't have a mother to raise you, this is all my fault," I say pulling back 

"What n-," Gray is cut off by dad's yelling 

"YES THIS IS ALLL YOUR FAULT," he whorls around gray eyes flashing angrily as he points at me "IF YOU HADN'T MADE HER SPIN YOU AROUND OR IF YOU HADN'T FORCED HER TO TAKE YOU SKATING NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED SHE WOULD STILL BE ALIVE," his shouts echoing around the empty waiting room 

"No that's not tru-," this time I was the one to cut Gray off 

"It's fine Gray it's not like he's wrong," I say 

"Bu-," I put a hand over his mouth 

"No buts," I say calmly I have to protect Gray from dad's anger that's what a good big sister would do granted a good big sister wouldn't have killed her own mother either, dad's rage is understandable he just lost his soulmate the person on the other end of his string so if I can get him to direct his anger at me then at least I know I will be protecting Gray...

After that I spent most of my time at school or taking care of Gray I got bullied and teased at school beat up at home had to raise my three year old brother from the age of six in the absence of our mom 'cause dad didn't care anymore and started to blame me I had to grow up fast I didn't have time to be a kid anymore, I also had to learn how to cook or we would starve. I was constantly cleaning, cooking, doing homework, helping and entertaining Gray and I spent most nights comforting Gray after a nightmare and making sure dad was still breathing even after we left to go to a foster home I still had to look after Gray make sure he was eating enough was sleeping properly getting good grades making sure he wasn't getting beat up by our foster siblings or kids at school it was harder since I was in middle school and he was still in elementary school. I didn't have much time to look after myself but when I did I was usually training and trying to get stronger but in the end it wasn't enough to save Gray. At lunch Joy and Dai are talking about the first party of the term "Hey Nessie are you going to the first party of the term?" Joy asks, pulling me into the conversation "No absolutely not," I say refusing "What why not you have to come we'll get all dressed up and pretty it'll be no fun without you," Joy whines "I don't do social events or gatherings and I don't wear dresses in public besides I'll just be a killjoy because I don't dance I don't drink," I say taking a bite of my burger "But we're supposed to teach you how things work around here and everyone knows that anyone who doesn't come to the first term party is automatically classified as a loser and that mean everyone who went has automatic rank over you which make it more likely you'll get picked on by almost everyone," Dai says looking up from her food to stare me in my eyes I glare as an automatic reaction she glances away shivering slightly I sigh "Fine but no dresses no drinking no dancing and the drinking rule applies to you," I say holding up a finger for all the rules "What?!" they exclaim "I am not taking care of your drunk/hungover a**es," I say finishing my lunch "Fine," they both grumble knowing that it's the only way to get me to the party "So what's the deal with this party anyway I doubt the teachers are just going to let a bunch of underage adults drink at some party," I say looking at Joy as she finishes the last of her fries "Well the teachers have been trying to stop the parties for years apparently the tradition started when a senior decided to throw a party for the first day of the second term everyone enjoyed it so much that it became a tradition for it to be held on the first day of the term by a group of seniors the teachers have never found it because it's held in a different spot each time," Joy responds "But how does everyone know who came and who didn't come?" I ask "Mandatory pictures before you enter the party are then taken and spread around school or through word of mouth," Dai answers my question this time "Alright but how do we know where to go," I say continuing my interrogation "A envelope is slipped under everyone's dorm door with and location," Joy says switching responding with Dai "Won't there be at least one person who would snitch to the teachers," I say "And risk getting picked on by the whole school for the rest of their time here for ruining the most epic party of the term we think not," Joy and Dai respond looking fearful "Fine then who pick the group of seniors," I ask my last question "A secret poll at the end of each term everyone writes down who they want to host the party and the top five requested seniors host the party," Joy answers getting up with Dai and I we carry our trays to the bin and leave the dining hall the party always starts at 10 and ends at 2 a.m. so we'll be by at 5 to start getting ready for it," They say as they pass me in the hall heading to their next class "Why do we need so much time to get ready for a party," I yell after them they don't respond