More than just a friend || Roger Taylor

34- never missed anyone more

"You annoy me... cause I'm trying desperately to pretend like I don't want you back in my life. I do. Of course I do. I've never missed anymore more. But I just, I don't want you to think what happened doesn't hurt. Because it definitely does. Incredibly so. I'm never gonna forgive you or pretend it didn't happen. And I've move forward, and I'm gonna keep moving forward. But if we're back in each others lives then you're gonna have to move with me."

"I'm not wanting back what we had. I want you back. I know I fucked up, and I don't want you to forgive me. Not at all. But that doesn't mean I don't want to try and move on." Roger mumbled almost, turning back around when the kettle behind him whistled. As soon as our eyes lost one another's the air rose into a tension I wasn't ready for, one that felt like it could drown me, which gave me the perfect excuse to decide to finally get out of Roger's clothes and back into mine.

-

"Call me. Don't bloody hide away and pretend you're all perfect. And remember Freddie wants you at that bloody party." Roger pulled up outside Connie's place, watching my frame covered now by last nights clothes instead of his, traces of blood against the fabric. "Did you want me to get the door or ?"

"No I got it, thank you." I smiled a little, the passenger side door besides me opening as he nodded. "And thanks for everything else and I jus-"

"Yes I know now stop rambling and get out the car you bloody twat. I'll see you soon." I got out of the car and closed the door behind me with the same smile as his lips pulled unexpectedly into that same smirk he wore with too much satisfaction for my liking.

Even though I desperately wanted to, I didn't look back as I rushed up Connie's drive and knocked against her door, one she had no idea I would be behind as I heard the car behind me drive back into the direction it came from.

She answered only a few seconds later, a worried look flooding through each of her features as she registered who owned the knock. She took one look at my hands, and then the bags weighing down my eyes, and then the rest of the details on my skin I hadn't been given the chance to cover.

"What the fuck happened to you ?" She pulled me in the door, slamming it behind her before squeezing me in her arms as if she was never gonna get the chance to again. I laughed a little as she grabbed me, but that was only to make me self feel better about the worry I knew she was probably controlled by.

"Right..." I took her arms from around me and handed them back to her as if she didn't really own them. "I'm gonna give you the short version and you can bombard me with questions after. Nathan does coke, I found a bag in his bathroom. I told him I wanted to end it. He told me he loved me. We got into an argument, and he smashed a glass on the table. I didn't think and slammed my hands into it, purely accidentally, before he kicked me out. I didn't know who else to call, so I ran to the phone box and rang Roger, and he took me to the hospital, and then I stayed at his. And he dropped me off here about a minute ago."

She opened her mouth as I'd she had the words to say, but she didn't. Her eyes were wide and her mouth would of been if it wasn't hesitating between what was suppose to pass through it. She pulled one of my hands down from it position my lips and the other from my pocket, bringing them both down in front of her to have her own look.

"Fucking hell Addy." She whispered, passing my hands back to me with a sympathy heavier than I liked. "So... you're done with Nathan ? Completely?"

"Yeah. I think so. And I'm honestly not that bothered. But there is a slight problem."

"Other than the fact your hands our sliced and you need to avoid telling the press about it ? Go on ?"

"Ugh I forgot about the press for fuck sake." I huffed, my hands bringing themselves up to let my fingers be bitten at due to nothing but the nerves suddenly deciding to course through me so easily as I thought about what I was about to say.

Nothing about the next sentence really made sense to me at the time. But like Connie had warned me, him coming back into my life was bound to stir the pot of feelings I had for him. I liked to pretend I hated him, like I wanted his arms to be around anyone else but me. But the truth was I just wanted to be in them, just me. No other girl. Even through my dream was one too far from reality I still liked to think it.

But I remember exactly what my mum had told me about how true love is. Because if you love someone, truly like you really mean it, you always will. It wasn't until I was sat back up against his counter, my eyes on his, his lips planting kisses against my forehead and his arms back around me, I realised why I just couldn't be so heartbroken over Nathan.

"I think I still like Roger... I know what happened between us and I know how I shouldn't still like him. Trust me it's so annoying. But when I split with Nathan I wasn't heartbroken, and I knew exactly why. So I had to call him. And then ugh we kept hugging and I just-"

"You're not as secretive as you think. We all know you were never really gonna find someone you liked as much as him. And I know full well you're never gonna forgive Roger, but I just don't want him to think he can pull something like that again."

"I don't think he does. Not at all. Of course I don't trust him and I don't exactly think being with him is the right thing... but friends can't hurt ?" She shook her head frantically, trying make me understand the truth she was already aware of.

"It can. It will Lynn. I just, I want you to be careful. And I also want you, for the time being, to think about yourself. And your job. And more importantly the fact that's this is all happened... just pause everything else and focus on this. And you better ring Mel."

"Fuck."

An- completely unrelated BUT I'm going to knebworth to see Liam Gallagher tomorrow AND IM SO EXCITED

thank you for reading ;)