Heartless (On Hold)

Very funny, why are you really here?

⚠️TW: Mention of r@pe

Josie POV

Josie: "I think I'm just gonna go take a nap or something"

Lizzie: "Are you sure? I mean, I can stay with you for a while, if you want"

Josie: "No, I'm fine. Just tired"

Lizzie: "If you say so. Can I ask you something?"

Josie: "Sure"

Lizzie: "What did she mean by that?"

Josie: "By what?"

Lizzie: "She said "Have fun doing everything by yourself", or something like that"

Josie: "Um...I don't know. You'd have to ask her yourself"

In reality...I did know what she meant. I knew exactly what she was talking about, and yes, I feel bad for not telling my own sister, but I just...I can't. I don't know how she'll see me after if i do.

Lizzie nods, looking a little skeptic. I guess I didn't sound too convincing. In the end, she drops it. "I'll see you later, sis. Call me if you need anything, alright?" she says, pulling away from a hug. I nod, and say "I will". She leaves out, and I watch her drive away.

I sigh, the feeling of guilt and regret hitting me like a truck. I don't regret everything, just some of it. Most of all, I regret the drinking...for multiple reasons. Oh, well. No point in wallowing in the past, not like I can change it anyways.

Though, it's not healthy to deal with all of this on my own. I should tell someone, kinda have to. It's not right to hide it. Especially from her.

I don't know when, but I'm going to tell her. It'll be better if I tell her sooner. Of course, I could go to her house right now and get it over with, but nothing's ever as simple as as it sounds. On second thought, maybe I should. Sure, she'd probably hate me after, but that's better than her never knowing. You know what, fuck it. I'm never gonna get anywhere in life if I just keep running from my problems.

I decide to take a quick shower before I go, to like calm my nerves and stuff. I stepped under the water, feeling the warm water run down my back. It feels very refreshing. I feel like I haven't been this relaxed in years. It's really only been a year, but you get the point.

My mind started drifting to random memories, good and bad. It was one that I was especially pissed at.

~Flashback~

Lizzie: "I'm gonna go to the bathroom really quick"

Josie: "Ok, I'm just gonna sit over there"

Lizzie: "I'll be quick"

I sit on a nearby bench. I went on my phone to just pass time. A few seconds later, I hear a familiar voice say "Josie? Is that you?". I quickly look up, and let's just say I wasn't pleased. "Uh, hi ?" I say, awkwardly. She proceeds to walk closer.

Penelope: "How have you been?"

Josie: "I've been great"

Penelope: "That's good"

Josie: "Mhm"

We went into an awkward silence. I looked everywhere but at her, hell bent on avoiding eye contact.

Penelope: "How's Lizzie?"

Josie: "Why do you care? It's not like you actually like her"

Penelope: "Look, I'm just trying to be nice"

Josie: "Well, that's never been your strong suit"

She sighs deeply. I continue to stare down at the ground. I bounce my leg in anticipation, hoping Lizzie comes out of that bathroom and intervenes.