TGIWS: Phoenix Ryler Velasquez's POV (Completed)

Part 41

I am just collecting some memories, you know. I know she won't hate me right now, but if she found out, she's gonna hate me.

Mawawala na siya sa akin... at 'yon ang hindi ko kayang mangyari.

I can't lose you, Darlene, but, it was my fault. Kung hindi sana ako pumayag sa gusto nila, hindi aabot sa ganito. Hindi sa punto na kailangan kang masaktan.

"Sige, pero sa Cebu 'yon, ah? Huwag kang magrereklamo." Of course, I won't.

Wala akong pakialam kahit gaano pa 'yon kalayo, ang gusto ko lang ay ang makasama ka. I want to have a happy memories with you. Bukod sa mga masayang pagsasama natin. I don't care if we lack time, at least you're with me without hatred.

We stayed at my car for almost a minute while she was eating. While, I'm looking at her... I was about to tell her about this but fear preceded me. My fear are killing me. Lagi na lang akong ganito, tuwing tumitingin ako sa kaniya naaalala ko ang mga ginawa ko.

I already stopped that, right? Matagal na.

Matagal ko nang tinigil dahil alam ko na sa sarili kong mahal ko siya. Hindi  laro ang nararamdaman ko n'on.

It wasn't a game... I fall for my own trapped. Baka nga hindi nangyari 'yon dahil umpisa pa lang alam ko na unti unti na rin akong nahuhulog sa kaniya.

When Harris asked me about falling to her back then, alam ko na agad sa sarili ko ang sagot. I fell really hard to the point that I can't lose her. I can't see her without in my arms. Saying I love you... and saying how much she loves me.

"Bye, love you!" She waved her hands before she went inside.

She closed the gate, I even heard her shout.

I got in my car and drove to my Condo. I didn't expect that Finn was there, he was standing and looked like waiting for me. He looked in my direction when he felt my presence.

"Nix!" He approached me. "Nasabi mo na ba sa kaniya?"

"No..." I simply said.

Binuksan ko ang pinto ng Condo ko at pumasok. Sumunod siya sa akin.

"Huh? Bakit?" He asked.

"I can't tell her..." It's true, I can't tell her.

I remembered her words last night. She can't forgive those who are playing behind her back.

"Tangina, bakit kasi pumasok 'yon sa isip ko?" I heard him whispered.

At bakit ko rin ginawa ang gusto niya—nila.

Hindi ko na alam gagawin ko. May problema na nga ako kumpanya, sa pamilya ni Dad. Nakakaasar, bakit pa kasi sila na nabuhay?

Tinatawagan ako ng Lola ko para pumunta sa ibang bansa kung nasaan sila pero hindi ko ginawa dahil wala akong mapapala doon bukod sa pagpilit nila sa akin sa kasal.

Mas pinili kong makasama si Darlene sa Tagaytay. I have a resthouse in Tagaytay, the view there was beautiful and I know she'll like it. Nagpahanda lang talaga ako kay Lala ng date para sa aming dalawa ni Darlene.

Hindi nag-tagal si Finn sa Condo ko. I take a shower to wait for time. My grandmother will be back in the Philippines tomorrow. Everything is settled now, just like Tita Grace wants.

While waiting for Darlene's text message, I stayed in my room. I stood up and got  a bottle of beer. This is what she wants, every time she's here she always drinks that.

I held my temple as I sighed deeply.

My phone vibrate. It was Darlene's message.

From: love
Tingnan mo.