"I'm Thinking This Is a Problem We Can Solve Together" (Jevon One-shots)

❦𝓈𝒽ℴ𝓊𝓁𝒹ℯ𝓇 𝓀𝒾𝓈𝓈ℯ𝓈❦

"Hey Dev...do you want anything? Food? A drink? Box of tissues...literally anything." I offer. He doesn't respond and I know he isn't going to. "Do you want any company? I'll get Junior or your aunt if you want." I ask. He doesn't say anything again and I turn away from the door ready to get Junior so he'll have someone to talk to. I go down one stair I hear a door slowly swing open, a puffy eyed Devon enters my line of sight. He's changed out of his suit and he's wearing a yellow shirt way too big for him with a picture of two people on it.

The woman is easily recognizable, it's his mom with a huge smile on her face, wearing a red shirt that's only visible on her top half, holding a positive pregnancy test, and hair in a puffy afro shining in the golden sunlight. The man takes me a while to recognize before I label him as Devon's dad, his eyes and nose noticeably a carbon copy of his. His dad has cornrows, a gaped smile, blue long-sleeve shirt, and is holding a sign that says "we're pregnant!" in big black bubble letters. They were evidently excited for the life ahead of them that they'd spend with their son...that got cut too short for both of them.

I walk up to him and moves to the left and opens the door a little more, indicating that I had his permission to enter which I hastily did. Devon closes the door before colliding his body with mine and hiding his face in my right shoulder, our arms engulfing the other's body. "I can't feel a fucking thing except exhaustion and that's fucking wrong. I can't even fucking cry and i just became an orphan...what the hell is wrong with me?" He says. I pull away from him and cradle his face, eyes locked on his. "Absolutely nothing is wrong with you. Anything that you'll feel or don't feel is your process of grieving and nobody is allowed to rush nor criticize you Devon, certainly not me. I just don't want you to feel alone, I won't let you feel alone." I tell him.

"Tell me something...will I always think the way I'm thinking right now?" He questions. "What are you thinking?" I ask. "All I can think about is the fact that I'll wake up everyday for the rest of my life and she won't be here. I will walk into every home I live in and she won't be in any of the rooms reading, or going over a new case, or cooking in the kitchen. I won't be in the passenger seat of her car beside her with frosty in our hands late at night in the parking lot of a fast food place as she apologizes for being at work all the time or on our couch laughing or yelling at the tv."

"We'll never be arguing again, or celebrating me raising a grade in a class I was failing or visiting my dad's tombstone together on valentines day or his birthday or death anniversary and updating him on everything going on in our lives and I won't ever have memory of her officially meeting you as my boyfriend and you guys teaming up to embarrass me or of her and I hugging one last time before I enter my college dorm room that she just helped me unpack in. Instead I'll be in a chair in front of a therapist with my aunt waiting for my session to end in the parking lot, or i'll be here in this room late at night wide awake due to insomnia and nightmares listening to my aunt let out sobs she's been trying to hide from me all day, everyday. Jake how do I live like this? How did you do it?" He rants to me in a broken tone, tears leaving his eyes at the end of his confession.

"Well Devon...I was alone and that made everything even worse. You have everyone downstairs and me, who will never let you feel what I did. I'm not going to lie...everything's going to hurt for a long time, maybe the rest of your life. The pain will there and you can't ignore it because it'll hurt too much, but if you allow yourself to embrace it and try to feel things other than pain then eventually you will. Everything that reminds you of her that makes you hurt will eventually stop hurting as much and will make you smile because you're going to remember that at least you made those memories." I admit before moving my hands off his face and kissing his right shoulder twice before continuing.

"Grief is a black hole and a crashing wave at the same time, a lot of the time. Any day can be a regular day and then something can hit you like a rolling tide and then suddenly you're falling down a black hole and all good things are disappearing and your voice drowned out, your are thoughts jumbled and you can't remember anything but the bad. And when I see that you're feeling that I'll through you a rope and pull you back up, because that's what you're going to need...a helping hand." I say before kissing his left shoulder twice and rubbing circles into his back.

"Promise?" His soft voice asks, eyes still teary but glittering with hope

"With everything that I am, I promise." I reply.

and i mean it.

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Devon's pov

We walk down the stairs, I'm still in my un-matching outfit and my left hand intertwined with Jake's who has his free arm wrapped around me in the name of moral support and touch being one of our love languages.

I stop before the room entrance, the living room I have yet to enter crowded with grief ridden guests in black clothing. I turn to Jake, "be with me the whole time?" I ask. He smiles lightly before leaning down and leaving a lingering kiss on my shoulder before looking back into my eyes. "For as long as you'll let me" he states. I smile before lightly tugging his hand, indicating that I'm about to start moving.

We walk in and head straight towards my aunt.

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Hi!!!! I hope you guys enjoy, I have like 15+ drafts and I can't find out which to finish first but I am trying desperately to become more active and consistent, so please bare with me. Love you and thank you so much for over 11K reads!!!! Word count: 1773