Together or apart

A milestone

I laid in Phil's arm on his bed, we had retired to the bedroom a while after answering Julie's few questions and eating dinner. I looked at the clock, 2:30 am. I sighed and cuddled closer into Phil's side. His arm looped around my waist and he lazily hummed.

"What's keeping you up, Mel?" He half mumbled.

I shook my head, "I don't know. I just can't sleep." He rubbed a circle on my back while I took even breaths. I closed my eyes, "Jet lag maybe."

He gently rubbed my stomach, probably to soothe my anxiety. I sighed and turned so I would face him.

I let my gaze fall down to his lips and gently moved closer. I felt his body press against mine and I felt him. Feeling the need to deepen the kiss, I did. My hand reached out to the back of his neck and into his hair. I bit back a moan as I felt the bulge in his pants. His hand slid up my back and -

My eyes widened and I pulled apart, "What's wrong? Are you okay? Should I stop." I bit my lip and aggressively nodded. I bit back a sob.

"I'm fine. The baby." I whispered into his chest.

I felt the fluttering feeling again and gasped. It felt so surreal, there was a human being inside me. Sure, I knew about the birds and bees, I vaguely remembered the uncomfortable talk my mother had given me decades ago, but this feeling? It was almost as if I'm stuck in a dream, waiting to wake up in a hospital bed. A tear slid down my face and I burried my head deeper into Phil's chest.

"What? Are you okay?" I mumbled.

"Yeah, yeah. We are."

"What's wrong then? I'm sorry if I overstepped, I didn't want to. I can take a step back or sleep on the couch if you-,"

I shook my head and quickly shut him up with a kiss, I pulled apart, "The baby moved." I whispered as I stared into his wide blue eyes.

"Moved!" He squeaked and I let out a short giggle.

Can I?" His hand hovered above my stomach.

"Please." His warm hand touched my stomach and I smiled.

He bent down, "Hey, baby. I'm your daddy. My name is Phil Coulson. I'm your mother's dork. Now, your mother," He smiled at me, "Is a goddess." I rolled my eyes, "I met her in the first year of the academy. She was my combat partner. And lemme tell you one thing, she kicked my as- butt. She kicked my butt. And then she smirked and introduced herself like , "Hey, dork. I'm Melinda May and you're in love with me."

I swatted his arm, "I did no such thing."

He smiled, "And I just stared at her like a lovesick teenager." He quickly kissed me and then stared into my eyes, "Her smile is one of my favourite sights. She's also a badass ninja."

I swatted his arm, "Language." I deadpanned.

He nodded, "Sorry. She's a ninja goddess. 100%."

"No doubt there." I added.

"Now, I really hope you turn out more like her. Strong, passionate - and less like me because I'm no more than an idiot."

"So not true."

He shrugged, "We love you, baby. We'll do the best we can with you. And who knows? Maybe we'll leave SHIELD once and for all. We don't want you to live the same life as us, baby. It's not something you should even known of. But, if you'll be anything like us, we know you won't stop digging if you wanted to even if we said no."

"Oh, I'm sure of it."

"Yeah?"

"I don't want the baby to go through what we did. Always on edge in public places and knowing 30 ways of killing someone." I whispered.

"Me too." He kissed my forehead, "Let's get some sleep now, shall we?"

I sighed, "Can't."

He raised an eyebrow, "Does you mother have the kind of tea I like?"

"I think so, you want me to make you some?"

"Nah, I can make my own tea, thank you." I rolled out of bed and walked out of the room.

I settled on the couch with a cup of tea and a good book, sighing, I sipped the warm liquid.  I stretched my neck and continued reading. I heard footsteps but ignored them since they were probably Phil's.

"Dear?" I looked up at Julie Coulson's tired voice.

"Here, let me help you." I quickly walked to the kitchen and prepared her a cup of coffee.

I felt her gaze on me, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?" I smiled at her.

"Nothing. Just, you're up at 3 in the morning."

"So are you, Mrs. Coulson." I pulled out a mug from the shelf above me.

"True as well." She placed her hand in my shoulder.

"I'm here if you want. I - I know your relationship with your mother isn't exactly the best." The statement was said by the kindest woman in the most kindest way, yet, I felt a pang of guilt.

"Thanks for the offer, Julie. Really. I appreciate it. I just, I just need some time." I reassured her. I held out the mug, "Now, if Phil's coffee is anything like yours, this should be good."

She nodded and sipped the dark liquid, "Hmm, I see you've perfected the Coulson coffee."

I let out a short laugh, "Years of practice."

"Do you love him?" She whispered and covered my hand with her own.

"I-, I don't know."

She rubbed my hand, "I know he does." I nodded.

I cleared my throat, "Emotions rarely help in the line of work we chose. Those who admit them, either work harder than most or just quit once and for all." I whispered.

I smiled at her, "I'm gonna try and go to bed. Enjoy your coffee." I patted her shoulder and left.

I buried my head in Phil's chest and he sighed, "Mel?" He croaked.

"I'm fine. Don't worry."

"I love you."

"I know."

Love, Love. The word that always gets stuck on my tongue. Love.