©What Have You Done To Me? || JudeCardan

what have you done to me?

Who on earth has a crush on someone who wishes them dead?

Well, I do. Jude is standing in front of me, saying something in her usual angry voices. Not to mention those mortal curses that just seem so natural coming out of her. And- am I suppose to find that hot? I shake my head before returning my focus to my seneschal who's also de facto ruler of the kingdom. Jude's walnut eyes are on fire as she stares at me.

Oh, shit. What did I do this time?

"What?" I say, resisting the urge to smile.

"Well. Locke as the Master of Revels? You know he's going to cause a lot of trouble" Jude rolls her eyes, throwing herself to the empty chair that was once belonged to Dain.

"And...?" I ask, trying my best to conceal any emotions on display.

And... of course I know it would be trouble. Locke loves drama, Locke loves trouble, Locke loves chaos. Jude's face turns another shade of red - possibly because of anger. But... that doesn't stop that stupid little tail of mine from wiggling inside my trousers. I bite the insides of my cheeks, feeling helpless at the sight of her flushed cheeks.

Is it normal for someone to blush when they are angry? Jude meets my eyes and the moment our gazes locked together, her eyes widened and her cheeks turn into another color of red - like she's embarrassed with me. Her eyes move and I follow the movement and realizes that she's looking at my tail. My stupid, stubborn, wiggling little tail!

"I... I'm going to get some water" she rushes out from the room, leaving me with the other Court of Shadows' spies.

The Ghost raises an eyebrow at me. Wonderful. I need to put something to make my tail stop moving. I roll my eyes and kick my chair away, leaving the secret room. Ah yes, just another of my darling seneschal being furious at me and storming out of our meetings without saying anything.

Normal day, Cardan. Normal day.

It's midnight and I'm alone in my chambers.

I put on a black robe and walk until I reach the open balcony of my bedchamber. The moon shines brightly tonight, the end of its crescent shape reminds me of the sharpness of Jude's dagger pressed to my throat. The feel of her lips against mine, the moment our eyes locked, both mingling with desire for power and lust. And, the taste of her kiss.

I shake my head. No, Cardan. She hates you.

I let out a breathy laugh as I look up to the sky. What was I thinking? She abhors me. I have spent literally my entire life taunting and making her life a complete mess. It is laughable if she will ever like me back. It is impossible. How can such hatred melt into an adoration for her?

I will not lie. I did hate Jude, but ever since the Summer Tournament, something deep inside me emerged out and I remembered spending the whole night thinking of her defiance. I spent the entire night thinking of such bravery. Even now, she is still defying me.

The dress for coronation? I didn't know what I was thinking, but when I saw her in that dress during the coronation, something tugged at the bottom part of my heart. I have been trying to dose myself with wine to get rid of images of her, afraid of my desire and hatred. I wasn't even sure if I hated her that time.

I felt like she was mine when I saw her in that dress. And then, when she kissed me in Dain's office, I swear something snapped inside of me. If it weren't for that damned ropes tying me to the chair, I would have pulled her and pressed her to me so I can feel all of her. It is disgusting and I can't stop thinking about her at all.

I pull out the golden goblet and pour a glass of wine to rid Jude from my thoughts. This is probably better than thinking about her being mine. I drink the first glass and later settle with drinking the whole bottle as I toss myself on the long couch. I try to drink everything but the images of Jude are just getting better in my head.