𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒊𝒏' 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒆, offlinetv

𝒐𝒐₄

brodin: this is jo, short for jodi
brodin: this is syd, short for sydney
brodin: this is poki, short for pokimane
brodin: this is michael and lily
brodin: they're just short.

michael: remember that time you dared me to lick a frozen pole?
toast: no, i said "michael, do not lick that pole," and you said "don't tell me what to do, toast" and then you licked the pole.

leslie, teaching y/n how to drive: okay, you're driving, and rae and tina walk into the road. quick, which do you hit?
y/n: oh, definitely rae. i could never hurt tina.
leslie:
leslie: the brakes. you hit the brakes.

*an iq for "trigger of love" by me (otv fic)*
sakiya, after flirting with every member of otv in front of scarra: what's wrong?
scarra, searching for his glasses: i have been blinded by the gay agenda

lily, sobbing violently: i might be sad but this bitch is still bad
michael: that's beautiful, lily
poki:
poki: should i call someone-

*lily standing beside a candle*
scarra: *blows it out*
lily, frowning: why did you blow it out??
scarra: so your hair doesn't catch fire!
lily: why would that happen?!
scarra:
lily: ...
lily: ok, it was one time-
(sadly, this is based on a real life event-)

*during an escape room*
sydney: is it locked?
jodi, grinning: not if you push hard enough

toast: why are you becoming a dentist?
y/n: so i can make children cry and it's socially acceptable.

police officer: anything you say can and will be used against you
poki, smirking: lily.
police officer: w- what?
poki: you heard me

john: why can't trees give off something important like wifi?
jodi:
jodi: so just fuck oxygen, i guess

*at a meeting*
sydney: michael is late, again.
scarra: how did this happen? i called him at 8 o'clock this morning pretending it was 11!
john: i printed a fake schedule saying we start at 9 instead of noon like we usually do...
poki: i set his alarm to say PM when it was really AM...
sydney: oh god
michael, bursting in the room: *severely sleep deprived* WHAT THE HELL IS THE FUCKING TIME

y/n: HOW COULD YOU? AFTER EVERYTHING WE'VE BEEN THROUGH
lily: I DIDN'T MEAN TO-!
sydney: why is y/n sobbing on the ground??
jodi: lily stepped on an ant.
sydney:
jodi: it's name was genevieve.

jodi: if you put together a bunch of misfits, you sometimes get a family, and sometimes you get a bunch of assholes
yvonne: so, what are we then?
john: we're mis-holes
sydney: or ass-fits
toast: *sighing heavily* god, i hate you all

*in the d&d videos*
the dm (dungeon master): listen, they are some of the best d&d players in the world
the dm: toast and michael are endlessly creative, lily and poki are so fun to play with, scarra's a master at building character
the dm: they were also sent from hell to kill me-

poki: does kissing women make you uncomfortable?
rae: nah
poki (squinting suspiciously): really?
rae, nodding: yeah, watch. lily?
lily: hm?
rae: *turns to lily and leans in to kiss her*
lily:
poki: *standing up protectively* i hope the fuck you do, you'll be one dead son of a bitch, i'll tell you that-
michael: SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND???

jodi: wow, you're always in such a good mood. how do you do it?
sydney, actually a cranky, apathetic, trainwreck of a human being: it's called manners, jodi.

john: you know, what if some people don't have a soulmate because they don't have a soul?
sydney: will you calm down? jodi just went to the bathroom

y/n: when i woke up this morning, my eyes started watering and they couldn't stop
y/n: so i went to the doctors because i thought i had allergies
y/n: plot twist! it was depression
scarra: y/n no-

y/n: i'm in love with your brother
edison: you're in love with my brother? the one in the army?
y/n: you don't even have one in the- no! the one who plays games online!
edison: leslie? leslie!
y/n: no, she's a girl and your ex-fiancé. i'm in love with your younger brother.
edison: brother? i'm a brother! are you in love with me?!
y/n: i'm in love with peter park.
edison: my brother??

leslie: i'm the most responsible one here.
sykkuno: yesterday you told rae to set her bathroom on fire
rae: to be fair, there was a spider-