First things first, he stated. I've gotta get in shape. For this man, this poor, poor, lazy man was not in shape. True, years upon years of video games and action movies had done wonders for his reflexes. But, he'd have no way to show others if he didn't have a perfect physique. And so, for the first time in his life, this man got up, left his house, and went to the gym. Of course, he didn't actually work out. He just put on some Eye of the Tiger and montaged his way into getting fit. (What, you guys don't do that?) Later that day, he was jogging home to more Eye of the Tiger (too lazy to illegally download more songs) when he bumped into none other than the woman (who, coincedentally, was also listening to the same song. What are the odds?) Rather than apologize, however, he briskly rushed off, angry at the woman for daring to cross his path yet again, and angry at himself for liking it. This girl, this woman, this female, is nothing but an object in his way, a mere ant in comparison to his monumental lazitrosity that he upholds. The sooner he eliminates her and his feelings for her, the better off the world will be.
