That night was one of the hardest nights of my entire life. Going to bed on my own, knowing Tom was just a few miles away from me, probably as ecstatic as I was on anticipation for whatever was about to happen the following evening, was extremely difficult. I spent the day with my friend. I dragged her along to go shopping with me for a brand new outfit for my date with Tom. She was curious about him, but I just said he was some guy I met at exchange programme. I settled for a turquoise skater dress, and some nude pumps. It would compliment my dark locks and hazel eyes. Literally two seconds after I gave myself the thumbs up, I heard a car horn downstairs. There was an outstanding black sportscar waiting for me and Tom emerged from it beaming and gesturing me to join him. He was wearing his usual waistcoat and tie minus the jacket combo. I made a fool out of myself when I tried to get into the wrong side of the vehicle, only adding to my nerves, but seing Tom's bemused expression brushed all worry off my being. When I finally joined him on the passenger seat, i wondered why Tom did not start the engine straight away. I glanced at him and he was looking doing at his lap, with fear in his eyes, and a firm grip on the steering wheel.
"Tom, what's wrong?"
"I am stupid. I don't know why I thought I could do this. You'll run away. Damn it!"
"Run away? Why would I do that to you? Tom, what is going on in that head of yours, come on, calm down, look at me"
I caressed his stubbled cheek and he slowly looked up. He was on the verge of tears.
"Bea I need to ask you something. I need to know something from you. About us. Please be honest"
"Of course! Ask me anything!"l
I sort of dreaded his question but gave him a reassuring smile and he smiled back.
"Do you trust me?"
"What kind of question is that, Tom? Of course I do trust you. Why wouldn't I?"
"Because we've been looking forward to this day for weeks and now I'm scared you'll slip away from me if I do what I wanna do"
"Why Tom? Tell me! What is it?"
"I wanna take you to my place"
I was definitely gobsmacked by the nature of his worry, it was completely understandable. It did stop me dead on my tracks for a split second.
"See? You hate me for it! I just wanted you to have fun, for us to have some privacy. Bea, my darling, I did not wanna freak you out with a way too fancy restaurant. You know... You know I wouldn't..."
"I know! I know Tom! Now, shut the hell up and drive for goodness's sake!"
He bursted into laughter and his car sped up towards Hampstead Heath.
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We arrived at a dainty little cottage in between way fancier houses. It was so him. After a few attempts to stop his hands from trembling, he managed to open the front door for me. He helped me off my jacket and asked me to make myself comfortable. I paced up and down the huge living room. I was stunned by the vast Blu-Ray collection and the ginormous library. I became instantly hypnotised by the two coffee table books. There was one on the Pre-Raphaelites, one of my favourite british artistic trends, but also a huge monography on Turner. Tom jhad made himself busy by opening up some wine and setting up the table. He also put some soft music on.
"I love you for this book. My dad would love you for that book"
"Did you just say you love me because of a book?"
His reply came with such great timing. No wonder he was a talented actor with improvisational skills. I hadn't even taken notice of my choice of words.
"I....I...May help you with anything?"
I suddenly wanted to keep myself too, so that I would stop screwing it up. During dinner, which was absolutely delicious, we talked about Coriolanus, and Tom eagerly shared with me every little detail of his preparation for the role. I had been thinking of asking something of him all the way to London, and I too was scared of his reaction to it, but I was sure it would be the most romantic thing I would do in my entire life.
"So, Tom, I'd like to ask you something as well"
"What is it, my darling?"
"I kinda wanna have a final test on the Shakespeare thing"
"Oh, come on,you don't have to..."
"I wanna do the 'Balcony Scene' with you"
Tom stared at me with disbelief in his eyes, but suddenly began moving chairs and tables in order to make a "stage" in his living room.
"You. Stand there". His voice suddenly deepened, turning into a slightly more "Loki-esque" tone. "And no, you're definitely not a mewling quim, my darling". We both laughed nervously as he helped me stand in a stool after I kicked off my heels. He wanted me to be higher up in order to simulate the balcony. I smiled while I watched his frantic search of two copies of the play.
"I brought mine". I suddenly blurted out. "It's in my purse".
He handed me my copy with a wicked smile. He finally found his and and we did the whole thing without even blinking of doubting it for one second. I was really surprised with myself!. He was mesmerising to watch as he threw himself into the role.
"Hahaha! That was so so good, Bea! You did great!"
"Thanks! You definitely did not suck either!"
"A+"
"You? Maybe like a B-?"
"Hahaha!"
He embraced my waist helping me down the stool, his face turning serious all of sudden. I slid myself to the floor in his arms, supporting on his shoulders. Our eyes met as I touched down on the floor. And I knew what was coming. I knew what was FINALLY coming. His finger brushed my jawline and he leaned forward while I found myself having to stand on my tiptows. Our lips crashed into a gentle, sweet, slow, passionate kiss.
"I love you. I love you so much"
"I love you too. Not just because of the book"
He chuckled. Our forehead and noses were pressed against each other's and we both were fighting back tears of joy. We kissed again. Taking our time, getting used to the taste of each other's mouths.
"I...I just....I know you might be scared....I travel a lot....we'll get through this I swear...."
"I know! Please don't talk. Please dont think! Just shut up and kiss me! Kiss me Tom!"
He nodded, desire darkening his eyes, and our kisses deepened and grew hungrier. I was genuinely not taken aback for what I knew it would lead to.
"For whatever's worth. Please don't go back to the hotel tonight. Just stay here. Stay the night with me....we don't have to....I just need you here, in my arms"
"I wasn't planning on going anywhere else. And I know we don't have to. But I want to. I need to. Now, you haven't shown me around this lovely place, why don't you start by the bedroom?"
