A Father's Daughter

Chapter Sixteen*

It's been two days since we returned from Indiana but the case was a rough one. We caught our unsub only to learn that half of the ten boys and girls he abducted were alive just moments before we got there. We could have saved all of them if we had put the pieces together just a little faster.

We solved this case in three days, which is more than impressive given that the locals hadn't even realized all of the kidnappings were connected until we came in. We worked fast and diligently on this but unfortunately it wasn't enough this time.

Richard Bruin was a sociopathic narcissist who kidnapped the children with the hopes of creating his own ego-driven cult. He knew that children were more easily manipulated than adults and he could convince them that he was their savior. But he felt us closing in on him after we announced our profile to the press and instead of risking the children being de-programed, he killed them. He wanted to be remembered and he couldn't risk the kids being taken back to their lives and 'ruining' everything he built.

Spencer took it especially hard because the unsub left hidden ciphers at the three latest abduction sites and he keeps saying that it shouldn't have taken him that long to decode them. I tried to comfort him on the way to the jet after the arrest, but he wasn't accepting it. Morgan reassured me that I shouldn't take it personally and to just give him some space, but I still wanted to be there for him.

As hard as it was, I let Reid sit in the back of the plane by himself for a majority of the ride. But during the last twenty minutes, I couldn't stay still any longer. I moved from sitting on the couch with Emily to the seat next to him. We didn't talk but he did take my hand in his the moment I sat down, which was definitely a good sign. I kissed the back of his hand and he gave me a brief smile before returning his gaze to the window.

When we landed that night, Hotch allowed for us to go straight home, stating that after a day like today we deserved some time time before reports. I think he mostly wanted to go home to hug Jack since one of the victims who didn't make it was an 8 year old boy. Spencer held my hand all the way to my car and only dropped it to walk to the passenger side. The ride to his place was silent but when I pulled up to the front of his building he looked over at me with sad eyes and asked me to stay the night. I agreed, even though I prefer sleeping alone.

I held him tight as we laid in his bed together, reassuring him that he's okay and that there wasn't anything more that we could have done. That the unsub knew we were closing in on him and in his mind, he couldn't let the kids leave because then he'd be losing control. I tell him that it doesn't make it right, and that we all wished for a different outcome, but we had saved 5 lives and Richard Bruin had been taken into custody and will pay for his crimes. I knew nothing I said was going to turn his brain off, but I couldn't help but try. He finally fell asleep, but I remained awake; running my fingers through his hair and whispering that everything will be okay.

I had never done anything like that before. To be honest, I never cared enough to.

Before my mother died, she was loving but her addictions caused her to be absent. And after she died, I was scared to get close to anyone because closeness brought questions about the past that I wasn't ready to tell anyone.

Then with my dad, I finally felt like I might have a second chance at having a parent. But we all know how that ended, and then I was alone again. Ever since I lost my father, I thought I also lost the capacity to care about others in this way. To care more about someone else than yourself. To put their needs above your own.

I don't know when it happened exactly, but somehow during this relationship, Spencer's happiness and comfort became just as important as my own if not more so. As I laid in his bed I realized that I was truly falling in love with him, and that scared me more than anything else.I stayed with him the last couple nights, just to make sure that he's okay.