the book that goes on & on & on & on...

january 2022

19th jan

aside from the intro, we're starting this off with a bang... a few weeks late. i just thought of this type of book before crafting the intro (duh) and it was a great idea in my mind, so lets see where it ends up.

lucky me, it's 12:34am and i should be asleep but obviously i'm not. i'm such a night owl that i though my body was not only screwed over, but also worse than literally anyone else. of course i was wrong, i'm not careless surprisingly. i'm quite a prick, but in a good way if that makes sense; i think of myself as kinda annoying but also likable. exam results come out tomorrow, and guess what? i'm ignoring them! why deal with irrelevant grades and uncalled for stress if i don't have to? motivation has gone down downhill regarding school over the last few months (this year and last), and at this point, having the qualification i need to pass the year is all i care about. i passed during 2021 so its fine but exams meant a lot last year, now i just don't care. my life has been a shitshow to put it kindly. tears, stress, all because i feel like i need to figure out what i want to do with my life, even though i'm indecisive and unsure. i want a job, but school sucks and didn't tell me how to, yet most people in my year/age are already ahead, doing that and some. i also want my restricted and to get a car so i can be independant and rely less on my parents. as for 2022 being my last year of high school/college, i'm on the way to getting a job hopefully and am forcing myself to stick this year out and get another qualification in case i want to go to uni next year. if i drop out this year, then its no uni for me regrardless of if i wanted it or not. i've heard people say that year 13 was the best high school year, and i want to stay to see how true that is. theres a year 13 camp as well as the annual ball and i'm finally going to go to both this year if i can, why not? if i don't, i'll regret it forever, and might as well do it to see where it takes me. long term thinking and positivity am i right?

"bye bye love" by the everly brothers is on my radio at the moment, can't go wrong. until i remember don died the day before my birthday but because i'm in new zealand we experience the new day earlier that the rest of the world so seeing "rip don" on fan pages i follow on insta hurt when i saw them on my birthday and everyone else found on the day before (it still counts right?) i miss you don, you were always my fave everly bro. if y'all ever "get into" the music from the everly brothers, i hope you find out who's who quicker than i did. finding out that don was alive (i found them before both don and phil passed) made be breathe a sigh of belief, it still didn't sit right that phil was gone. phil's cool but something about don just shone, y'know? it feels weird knowing they're both gone and phil is still special even though i have a clear preference but i'm glad i found them and glad i simped over don when he was alive... didn't know i could rant about the everly brothers for so long wow. give them a listen if you like folk type songs with a strong accent and nice harmonies! (just you wait until i obsessively rant about gordon trueman riviere waller, it'll happen more than twice, i'm sure of it!)

note of the day: 60s music is my fave decade of music but the everly brothers had their prime and debut in the 50s, that'd be my second fave music decade for sure, especially with other artists making music during it! music is great, and helps more than you'd think!

~ tay

finished at 1:04am

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25th jan

alright, i've decided that if nothing really happens that i suddenly feel the nagging urge to let y'all in on, i'll update this whenever i open wattpad bc i usually read imagines and all that jazz but less often than usual. this just so happens to be one of those days, i say at 12:38am when i should be asleep but we know that won't ever be the case of tay the night owl. as i write this, i have crayator's twitch stream open and he's playing apex legends with nalopia and maskedwolf which is interesting. he's my comfort streamer and his just chatting streams are more helpful than i thought. nal just started singing "hey jude" by the beatles and it made me smile in my brain but i have so much merch yet i prefer so many bands now which sucks. you know when i said idc about my exam results? i looked at them. i did better than i though but it doesn't mean heaps still, but it pays to know i got merit on at least one exam which was what i wanted (i got merit for two exams!) in nz, merit is like the median of grades, so you passed and did really well, more than just achieving, but you didn't do spectacular for excellence. i'm proud of myself honestly.