"maybe that's the only way she'd understand" you reply, taking a deep breath.
"so yumi.. my mother ran away when i was little, that's what led my father to alcohol. he became addicted, wasn't willing to do any therapy or stop drinking,"
hyouma continues to hold your hand as you talk, yumis gaze slowly but surely softening.
"the alcohol changed him. before my mother left, he was a loving man, but the alcohol ruined all of that, butchered his humanity. i grew up under constant watch of a strict alcoholic. do you think you can please someone like that? no you can't. no matter what i did, it was never good enough. i was a disappointment in his eyes and he made me feel it every single day." your voice becomes more brittle.
the scars in your heart begin to open painfully.
they are wounds that will never fully heal.
"verbally and physically he made me feel his dislike, his hatred. there were days when i didn't go to school because i looked like the victim of a fight" every single word stings your chest and you briefly break eye contact with maki.
she is shocked by what she hears, she has judged without knowing the story.
"he did not tolerate my relationship with hyouma at all. on the contrary, everything got worse."
your lover lovingly strokes a strand of hair from your face, his hand still intertwined with yours. you give him a brief thankful look.
he is all you have.
and that's exactly what yumi sees as she watches you. the familiarity, the love with which you look at each other. without hesitation, you would sacrifice yourself for the other.
"the violence got worse and from now on it became pretty much commonplace. i carry his hate on my skin and it's in the form of ugly scars" you continue brokenly and turn a little to the side, about to do something you never would have thought of yourself.
"y/n-" hyouma starts in horror, but you shake your head. "it's alright, really" you smile wanly, pulling your shirt down a bit so your shoulder can be seen.
"these are scars from one of his outbursts. shards in the skin are very painful" you reply bitterly, showing yumi the upper part of your shoulder blade.
she opens her eyes in horror when she sees the scarred skin. now she has solid proof for your words, even though they don't need to be - she believes you anyway.
"i'm so sorry" she whispers in shock and feels bad because she didn't want to listen to you.
but you wave it off. "that's the way it is. even if i hate it, i'll never get rid of my past, literally," you smirk painfully. "hyouma saved me one evening when things were really bad again. a gun was used in a fight with my father. my father wanted to shoot him with it, but hyouma was able to take it from him and when my father then rushed at us, he shot him out of fear," you tell the end of what was the beginning of your escape. your first crime.
the first crime was out of fear and love.
"so yumi, that was our story. murder is the worst thing you can do in this world, you're right. but his crime was no less bad than ours."
she is speechless, thinks completely different now than she did before. a murder is a murder, but she can't even cause you for it anymore, she understands your current situation too well for that.
"why didn't you go to the police and say it was self-defense?" she asks in a calm voice.
"who would believe us? we live in a time where men have more power than women and people with backgrounds like us are immediately labeled as lesser and are the perfect scapegoats for the crimes in this world. yumi, this world is unfair, you don't win if you play fair. no one would have believed us, in the end they would have just torn us apart."
hyouma looks at you admiringly while you talk. he has the greatest respect for your strength and is more proud of you than he could ever put into words.
and yumi? you hit her with every single one of those words. she can understand far too well the situation you are in now to hand you over now, so she has made her decision.
"you can stay here as long as you want, i'm on your side"
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now all the cards are on the table. this is y/n's past, the reason why you fled. but the story isn't over yet, the drama hasn't even begun.
