The High Five

The Nest

"Not unless you want to spend the night in burrito mode."

Bobby smiled ingratiatingly. "Ok, fine. Let's talk."

Milo deactivated the shock cushion. Watching Bobby rub his arms, he feared he might have hurt him after all. But after a moment, Bobby waved off the screens and said, "Clock's ticking."

"Care to tell me about the water heater malfunction?" Milo asked.

"Bad sensor relay," Bobby said. "No big deal."

"No big deal? I just spent the last thirty minutes getting my ass chewed by station command. They wanted to run an all-system diagnostic."

"I told Jess not to file an incident report," Bobby said. "You know how they are. If someone farts, they have us checking for gas leaks."

"Listen, Bobby. I know this may be amusing for you, but I need to know if something is seriously wrong with the ship, or if it was just you and Jess screwing around."

Bobby sighed. "I thought it would be a bit of fun for her. It was just supposed to stay between us. I didn't expect Vivian to pull the panic cord and scream bloody fucking murder."

Milo nodded. "Well, don't do it again. I don't need Paranoid Station on my ass for anything else."

Bobby saluted. "Aye, acting captain. Is that all?"

Milo's better judgment told him to leave well enough alone. He'd gotten the answer he came for. But curiosity got the better of him. "What did you mean when you said I wouldn't like what you had to say. Is there something else you're not telling me?"

"Are you sure you want to open up this can of worms?" Bobby said.

"I think I can handle a few worms."

"Chew on this then. Ever wonder why our docu-stream got cancelled after the pilot?"

"I thought it was pretty obvious," Milo said. "Low viewer numbers."

"But why were the numbers so low? All the market research said it was going to be a big hit. We even had our not-so-secret weapon, the queen of the streams herself."

"Guess we're not as exciting as we think we are."

"There's that. And there's also the fact that SexZero came out the same week."

"SexZero," Milo said. "Is that the stream where..."

"People put on face-morphs and have sex in zero-g with total strangers. At first it was just couples, but now they're holding battle royale sex fights. Know how many viewers our pilot got? About a million and a half. And most of those were because of Vee. SexZero? Over forty million viewers and counting. They're building a larger arena in New Vegas with one-way glass so people can watch in person. Tickets are going for millions. So there you go. People would rather watch strangers fucking than cripples doing real jobs. Can't say I blame them."

Milo didn't want to believe it, but it had the ring of truth. "That's a pretty cynical way of looking at it."

"I'm just being real," Bobby said. "Come on, you must know this mission is bullshit."

"The docu-stream? Yeah, that was a bust. So what? It was only a side hustle. We've still got a job to do, and it's a damn important one. We're operating a multi-billion-dollar spaceship. The moonbase is counting on us to deliver essential supplies."

"Billion-dollar spaceship, right," Bobby smirked. "The Moonlighter may have cost that much a quarter of a century ago when it was put into service. But now it's just a floating wreck held together by duct tape and the prayers of the righteous."

"And we should be grateful to have it," Milo said. "It's not like they're just handing out space transports. We always knew it would be an uphill battle to gain the respect of space command and show them we're just as good as any other crew out here. And that stunt you pulled earlier isn't helping our case."

Bobby snorted. "Respect, whatever."

Milo sensed there was more festering beneath the surface. "What's this pissy attitude really about? Ever since Jake left, you've been acting like an irresponsible child."

"It's a fly-by-wire operation." Bobby said.

"What do you mean?"

"The whole operation is meant to run on autopilot with a little help from station command. We make a couple loop-de-loos around the moon and come straight back. Vee does a PR sesh or two along the way. Once we're back at the station, they throw us a little party with cake and balloons. Woo-hoo! Look at how the cripples conquered space together. Now beam them back home before someone gets hurt."

"What are you talking about? We signed on for a nine-month stint with possible extensions. This is just our first resupply run."

"Nine months—maybe more like nine days," Bobby scoffed. "Seriously, when are you going to get a clue? The moon is receiving most of its supplies by unmanned space-tug now. The Moonlighter is no longer—what's the phrase?—cost effective. This was just the Jake show all along. Another first to add to his growing collection. First captain of a handicapped crew—hurrah! But here's the thing. To be first, you only have to do something once. What's the point of a second trip?"

"Jake told you this?"

"Of course not. He's not an idiot. It would be 'demoralizing to the crew.' But if you don't believe me, just look at the ship manifests. Aside from the shuttle, the Moonlighter is virtually cargo-less. What's the point of running a resupply mission without supplies?"

Milo felt a sense of relief. So that's what this was all about. Bobby really had him going there for a minute. "The supplies didn't make it from Earthside in time," he explained, which was half of the truth. The other half had to do with the shuttle, but he wasn't authorized to tell Bobby about that. "So it was either spend another two weeks at dock or go with what we had and fill up on the return."

Bobby wasn't buying it. "I see they've got you drinking the Kool Aid."

"Maybe you're right," Milo changed tack. "But there's no way to know for sure until we get back to Paranor Station, is there? And if you're wrong, your fuck-off attitude is going to get you kicked out of the fleet, and probably get the rest of us booted too."

"You're afraid I'll make you look bad, is that it? Ruin your chances of becoming a real space captain someday."

Milo shrugged if off. "Naw, I'll blame it on Jake. He's the one who picked you."

"Bastard." But Bobby's tone lightened. "I bet you already have my replacement picked out."

"Don't I wish," Milo said, only half-joking. "So here's the deal. You can do whatever you want on your personal time and PT too. I'll make up some excuse for lab duty, and it's no secret Jess is already doing most of your maintenance tasks. But you'll show up for team time and play nice with the crew. You'll keep one ear on comms at all times, and you'll watch over every system on this ship like a guardian angel. If one little LED light goes blinky-blinky, I want to know. No more malfunctions. None. Do we have an understanding?"

"Is this the part where we spit on our hands and shake?"

"Let's just say we did."