Broken (Van McCann) Part 2

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AN: I finally finished part 2, but please be aware this is about an abusive relationship and there's a very brief description of an assault. Sorry this is a sad one! There'll be one more part after this...

You curse under your breath as your heel catches on a crack in the pavement. These damn shoes! Why the fuck did you wear them? Well... you wouldn't have counted on having to walk through town on your own in the dead of night, half-cut and frozen.

The night had been going so well at first. You'd been at a party, a friend of James's, and for the first time in for as long as you could remember you'd actually been enjoying yourself on a night out. James was even in a good mood once he'd got over the fact that you weren't going to go and change into something 'less slutty'.

You'd decided that things were going to change and you were determined. No more letting him rule your life, no more jealous comments and angry rages. You were strong. You would just stand up to him.

Of course what you really should have done is break up with him, not give him another chance. The thing with second chances is they quickly become third chances, then fourth chances, then before you know it you're just forgiving someone constantly, and losing yourself in the process.

You'd noticed James's demeanour start to change after his fourth beer, first came the sullen looks, then there were the little digs. Putting you down in front of his friends, making you feel small. You'd tried to laugh the comments off although they stung. You were good at that. Putting on a brave face. You should have just left the party then, but you hadn't.

You stumble again, a loud sob rising in you which you try to swallow down. You're trying so hard not to cry, but the more you think about the hopelessness of your situation, the more the tears sting your eyes.

"Oi oi, need a lift sweetheart?" A loud cry goes up as a souped up boy-racer car pulls up next to you at the traffic lights, and a young lad wearing a cap sticks his head out of the passenger window. You carry on walking with your head down, giving the car a wide berth. There's cat-calling and lewd comments but thankfully the traffic lights change and the car screeches off.

You suddenly realise how risky this is, walking alone as drunk as you are, an emotional wreck. It's 1am for gods sake. You hate bothering people but you know Lizzie will be up. It's Larry's birthday and they're having a party at their house. You reluctantly pull your phone out of your bag and perch on the low stone wall of the house that you're outside.

The phone rings and rings, and you're just about to give up when you hear the call connect.

"Y/N! How are you? Wish you were here!" Lizzie's voice comes loud and excited down the line, she's practically shouting over the booming music and background chatter.

You nearly make out that you dialled by mistake and hang up, fretting that you're only going to go and ruin your best friend's evening, but you stop yourself, knowing that she would be mad at you for even thinking like that. You go to speak, but a sob bubbles up from your throat rather than actual words.

"Y/N! What's up? Are you crying?" Lizzie's voice is even louder now. "Hold on, let me get somewhere a bit quieter... right I'm outside now. What's up? What's happened?"

"Oh Lizzie I don't know what to do. It's James... we had a row... at the party. It was horrible. He... he..."

You trail off, your throat closing off. You can't quite summon up the courage to say the words because you know that once they're out there it will change everything. You won't be able to lie and hide and cover for him anymore.

"That bastard! What's he done this time?" Lizzie fumes down the line. "I'll kill him. I'll fucking kill him! Where are you?"

You look around, suddenly realising that you'd been walking with no destination in mind, the desire just to get away so strong that you'd acted on impulse. You should be going home, but you're not really familiar with this part of town.

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