River of sin

11. Am I worth the risk

"Jacob!" Danny clicked his fingers in front of his brothers face snapping him out of his daydreaming.
"Sorry, what?"
"It's been three weeks. The whisky will have been gone if we leave it any longer"
"Agreed."
"Then we go get what's ours tonight, boys." Barney declared
"No" Jacob quickly snapped, he had other plans for tonight "not tonight....tomorrow. Give us time to plan. Get the men we need together incase there's trouble."
"You're playing with fire" Rachel shook her head "you'll either get your heart broken or yourselves killed you know that right?"
"I don't know what you're talking about Rach." He brushed off
"So this doesn't belong to little miss Barnes." She threw a cardigan at him "it's high quality that, too posh and expensive for any tart round these parts, Jake. Those jewels on the brooch are the real deal. Only posh bird you know with money to their name is the Barnes girl."

"Jacob" his sister softened "as much as you want her to stay, she's not going to. She's going to leave on that boat to America leaving you behind. End it now before it goes any further. For all our sakes."
"Brother?" Danny asked confused "this true? You having it away with a bloody Barnes bitch!"
"You shut your mouth" Jacob furiously grabbed his brother by his shirt
"Easy" Danny held his hands up in surrender "Yvonne?" He asked, Jacob shoving him away, pacing angrily "Jake! He'll kill her! Then you! What the hell you thinking?"
"We move tomorrow. Leave Yvonne Barnes' name out of your mouths. That's an order. She ain't no Barnes bitch! If she were I'd be in the ground already." He angrily put his jacket on

"Jacob....you know I'm right." Rachel spoke cautiously, knowing better than to challenge her brother after he'd given an order "do you love her or is this some game to get one over on him? Jake! If you love her you need to let her go. Put her on that boat Jacob or bury her in a grave. only one way this ends. She's nineteen, Jacob! She's just a kid! You want to ruin her life? End it before it's barely begun? You step out of line with her and she can see you in a noose. Go to the police and tell them you forced her to lie. She's nineteen and you're a full grown man, Jacob Evans! It's wrong!"
"She could be spying for them, Jacob." Barney murmured out, scared of his brothers wrath
"I need the house tonight. Make sure it's empty. I'll drop Betty off later." he left slamming the door.

Jacob pounded the streets with angry strides, trying to clear his head, twiddling with Yvonne's ring with hhis hand shoved in his pocket, twisting the smooth metal around his rough skin. Three weeks of secret meetings and his feelings had been confirmed, they'd grown, at rate that made him feel uneasy, it was new territory for him, he didn't like not being in control but his relationship with Evie felt like something that was beyond his reach to control. When it was just them, he didn't see a Barnes, he didn't see anything but the young woman he'd fallen for. Pushing away the fact that she'd been honest with him from the start saying she wasn't planning on staying or how long she was staying for.

He went about his business, taking out his frustrations on the people that owed him money, on those that had over stepped the line. He freshened up before jumping in his car, driving to the bridge, parking up in the shadows. He tapped his fingers nervously on his wheel, flashing his headlights at the familiar figure stepping off the bridge, starting up his engine to drive over to her, leaning over to pop the door open. Yvonne jumped in quickly, keeping herself hidden best she could, while Jacob drove off. The silent drive was a nervous one, Jacob parking up, hurrying her along the street and into his house, locking the door.

"Is everything alright?" Yvonne asked anxiously "Jacob?"
"Fine. Fine. Everything is fine." He rambled out unconvincingly
"Do you want me to go?"
"What? No! Why? do you wanna go?" He asked confused "you changed your mind?"
"Jacob. If I'd changed my mind about spending time with you I wouldn't have got in the car. I wouldn't have even crossed the bridge." She giggled awkwardly, she reached for his hands, sighing at the obvious violence they'd inflicted recently "do I want to know?"
"You know my life" he replied shortly
"If I wanted to be barked at like a dog I would have stayed at home!"
"Sorry...sorry. I got a lot on my mind, little darling.....wait, who the hells barking at you?" He asked defensively
"Nothing you can do about it so don't worry yourself over it. Nothing I can not handle. Now do you want me here or not?"
"To spend time? Together? That's what you want?"
"You are acting very strangely even for you, Jacob Evans."

Jacob leant back on the table contemplating his thoughts, looking over the young woman in front of him, tapping his fingers under the table that was tightly gripped in his hands.
"Tell me what's wrong. You're scaring me, Jacob. If it was not safe to spend the night we could have just met under the bridge or on one of your boats for a night cap like before." Yvonne looked at him with those doey eyes he could no longer resist, that turned the hard man he was into the one he was before the war, before his father left for a second time and he'd had to step up, his elder brother Danny not having the inclination for leadership, too affected by the war to be the man the family needed, it fell to him to head the family. Jacob was affected the worst but was the best at hiding it, from everyone but his Gran and it would seem Yvonne too. The only two people he'd fully let his guard down around. Who he'd allow to see his tears, even his sister he'd erect the wall up, stopping his tears when she tried to comfort him rather than let them all out.

"My family are on to us." He blurted out, avoiding eye contact "I didn't confirm nought. They know to keep their mouth shut."
"Do you trust them?"
"I don't trust no one. Not anymore. Not fully."
"You do not trust me? Is that it? Have they put doubt in your mind over my intentions?"
"And what are your intentions exactly, little miss? It has been three weeks. Three weeks of....this" he gestured at her. She looked down at herself confused "sweet Lord" he gripped his hair in frustration. "Am I worth the risk?" He asked shortly
"We've been over this I would not be here if...."
"No!" He took large strides towards her pulling at her waist so her body connected with his harshly "am I worth the risk, Evie?" He softened his voice, looking down at her intently

"I've been a gentleman for three weeks. I've not pushed my advances beyond a hand hold, an embrace, a light touch exchanged between us here and there, no where inappropriate I might add, a kiss on the cheek.....sleeping in my arms. I have been respectful. Alone together. I have had plenty of opportunity to be otherwise yet I've been a perfect gentleman. Even when you are asleep in my arms, in only my shirt, with temptation literally at my fingertips, I have not overstepped the line. Been very careful where I place my hands. I have been a gentlemen."
"I never said you weren't"
"Oh my little miss Evie" he looked up at the ceiling shaking his head "tell me. Right now. Am I worth the risk?" He asked against her lips, he could feel her breath releasing from her mouth meeting his in a warm swirl in the small space between them "I've waited for an invitation to do what I'm about to do. Which I don't normally do. I'm not waiting any longer. I'm going to kiss you now, little darling, unless you stop me. Understood?" He asked pausing for a response, after what seemed like forever Yvonne gave out the smallest of nervous nods, feeling his lips instantly on hers "so worth the bloody wait" he smirked against her smiling lips, kissing her more enthusiastically.

"Jacob, wait, I...."
"Just tell me to stop and I'll stop. I'm not asking for anything other than a kiss, my little darling. I know. I am willing to wait. For you. You don't have to tell me, little darling , I know." He nodded at her. "I'll be your first. I'll take care of you when the time comes but only when you ask me to. Because you're my little darling and I love you. So I can wait."
"Are you sure? As you told me many weeks ago, it's a man's need. Especially a man like you, with temptation and opportunity at every turn."
"That is what you are worried over? I ain't looking at nobody but you little miss. Haven't since the day you stepped back in to the black swan. Now we have all night. We will rise early, although I do not like you walking the streets alone."
"Then take a risk. So we can spend a little more time together, outside of this house, not in the dark, under bridges or hiding in boats. Drop me at the cemetery. Where you happen to be visiting your Gran's grave and I my....." she trailed off.

"The unmarked grave. I saw the card on the flowers. Is he not your father, Evie? because that would solve all our problems" he laughed jokingly
"Another man raised me until I was the age of five." She looked down sorrowfully "my brother and I...."
"You can trust me."
"Somethings should remain...unsaid. It is not and Evans thing, it is an Evie thing. It is safer that way." She nodded "Jacob?"
"Hmm? Yes, my little darling?" He hummed kissing her neck softly
"Am I worth the risk?"
"Most definitely"
"Am I worth the bloodshed?" She asked in a timid whisper
"We don't talk of that." He picked her up taking her to his room, kicking the door shut with his foot "no last names. Just Evie and Jacob. We don't think about the world outside of this room, of consequences, we don't think of tomorrow, we only think of tonight. Now you tell me to stop and I'll stop. Understand."