Sweetener ▹ The Infernal Devices

CHAPTER FIVE

"I don't know," Tessa said, not for the first time, and Evangeline could hear the frustration in her voice. The growing exhaustion over repeating the same answers over and over again. Evangeline wasn't at all surprise when more words came pouring out, all of Tessa's previous politeness vanishing. "They never explained it to me. All I know is what I told you—that they seemed to know exactly what it was I could do, and how to train me to do it. They spent hours with me, every day..." Tessa trailed off, her eyes going distant. She swallowed thickly, and Evangeline felt her heart ache for this strange girl she didn't know. What she had endured, Evangeline could hardly imagine. "It hurt, at first," Tessa continued in a whisper. "As if my bones were snapping, melting inside my body. They would force me to Change two, three, then a dozen times a day, until I would finally lose consciousness. And then, the next day, they'd start at it again. I was locked in that room, so I couldn't try to leave." Tessa drew in a shuddering breath. "That last day, they tested me by asking me to Change into a girl who had died. She had memories of being attacked with a dagger, being stabbed. Of some things chasing her into an alley—"

"Perhaps it was the girl Jem, Flora, and I found," Will cut in, sitting up straight at precisely the same moment Evangeline did. They shared a brief, thoughtful look. "We guessed she must have escaped from an attack and run out into the night. I believe they sent the Shax demon after her to bring her back, but I killed it—"

"There were two, actually," Evangeline reminded in annoyance, rolling her eyes at Will's boasting. "And Jem and I killed the other one." Tessa eyed her curiously at that, suddenly seeming to remember Evangeline was a Shadowhunter too. Evangeline watched her study the enhance rune she had permanently on the side of her neck. Evangeline cleared her throat and added, "They must have wondered what happened to the poor girl."

"The girl I changed into was named Emma Bayliss," Tessa said eventually, drawing her eyes away. Evangeline felt the need to place her hand over the rune she had been studying, but refrained. "She had very fair hair, tied in little pink bows, and she was only a little thing." Evangeline's heart ached. She pressed her lips together, only offering Tessa a single nod to confirm that was the girl they had found. "Then they did wonder what happened to her. That's why they had me Change into her. When I told them she was dead, they seemed relieved."

"That poor soul," Charlotte murmured, sighing softly. "So you can Change into the dead? Not only the living?" Tessa nodded, and Evangeline fought the shiver that tried to sneak down her spine.

"Their voices speak in my mind when I Change too," Tessa whispered, fiddling with the fork, her piece of cake left untouched. "The difference is that many of them can remember the moment they died." Evangeline couldn't help it—she reached over and placed her hand over Tessa's own, squeezing comfortingly. Tessa went still for a moment, then released a small sigh and sent Evangeline a grateful look. Evangeline offered a small smile.

"Ugh," Jessamine groaned, breaking through Tessa and Evangeline's brief moment. Evangeline took her hand back and shot Jessamine a warning look, though Jessamine didn't even see it. "How morbid." Tessa ignored Jessamine entirely, choosing instead to turn and study both Evangeline and Will thoughtfully. She glanced between the two of them, and Evangeline found herself wondering what she was thinking.

"You found me because you were looking for the murderer of Emma Bayliss," Tessa said slowly, her brow furrowing in thought. "But she was only one dead human girl. One dead—what do you call it?—mundane. Why so much time and effort to find out what happened to her?" Evangeline blinked, opening her mouth to say that they weren't monsters, and dead mundanes mattered just as much—if not more—than dead Shadowhunters. Protecting mundanes was why Shadowhunters even existed. Why wouldn't they investigate? But before she could say any of that, Will spoke.