Killing Harmony Switched Ultimates AU

Chapter one

"Fuck!" I yell, falling out of the dark. This is me. Miu Iruma, and I'm the protagonist of this crazy story. "What the hell?! Where am I!?" I look around. "A classroom? The fuck..? When did I get to school?" Looking around, something seems off. The windows are barricaded with red twine. "Ah! Gah!-" a girl falls out of the locker next to me. "The fuck- You okay?" I ask her, helping her off the ground. "Thanks! Uhm, you are..?" The girl asks my name. "Me? Oh why I'm the gorgeous girl genius, whose good looks and golden brain will go down in history! I'm the one, the only, the legendary Ultimate Detective herself, Miu Iruma! What about you Melon-tits?" She jumps. "Melon-Tits?! What's that supposed to mean?!" Pointing a finger, she yelps. "Your bust is as round as mine! AHHAHAHAHA! Now just tell me your name!" I swat her finger away. "Ugh, I'm Kaede Akamatsu, the Ultimate mage." Silence hit like a ton of brick's. "But I'm really called the Ultimate Magician" So she does magic? Interesting. "The-" "Rise and Shine Ursine" "What the fuck?!" Five teddy bear looking things come flying out of nowhere. "Aahhh!" Kaede screams. "A fuckin' teddy bear?" What in the- "N-No! It's a monster, you can freak out about this!" She yelps, jumping behind me. "Well if it's a goddamn monster, use your freaking magic or some shit!" What the hell is even going on!? "I-I can't do stuff like THIS! My magic is not powerful enough yet!" Kaede, I just met you. But you're a dumbass. "Gaaaaahhhhhh!" The blue one yells. "I don't think she was talking to you" the pink one says. "That's so mean... You humans are monsters for calling us monsters!" This time the red one. "Although if we're monsters, we're pretty monsters" again, the pink one. "I agree. I'm glad I was born with these looks. I definitely won the genetics lottery" They basically all look the same though- "w-what are they? Why are they talking? Aren't they just... stuffed animals?" "We're not Monocubs, we're the stuffed animals!" "You said your lines backwards, Monokid" The orange one says. So Monokids the name. "No stuffed animals us, Monocubs them!" Is this bear tripping balls or somethin? "Oh gezz, it's even worse now..." this thing is definitely stoned. Kaede walks out from behind me, "...Huh? Monocubs?" She mutters confused. The pink one gasps "Oh! You've heard of us?" "No you fucking piece of bubblegum, you just told us who you are!" I shout. They all look at each other. "Yay It worked!" What? The f- "Yeah, no. What do you want?" These, Monocubs, things explained to Kaede and I that there are sixteen other Ultimate students here, and that we use this book thing to find them. So we decided to walk around to find them. "Hey look!" Kaede runs up to a short, erm, person? Standing by an odd dragon statue. I can't tell if it's a chick or not! "Oh, how can I be of service to you?" The person says, bowing. "Question, are you a guy or a chick? I can't fucking tell!" "I am a boy." He looks up at me. Damn this kid is short. "What's your name? I'm Kaede Akamatsu! The Ultimate Magician!" "For my name is Kokichi Ouma, I am the Ultimate Maid. Please let me know if you require my service. " Maid? But he's- "Wow... The Ultimate Maid seems like a really cool talent." Kaede smiles. "Ah, wait! I-I've heard of Kokichi Ouma!" Now I remember. "An Ultimate with incredible intellect and strength, working as a private Maid." I remember reading something on him. "I heard that his work is so perfect, he can complete any request given to him" Kaede looks at me in shock. "What?! He's that amazing?!" "Please, you are exaggerating. I will not complete any request that is asked of me." Kokichi says, holding his hands in front of his waist. "I once received a request to annihilate a rival nation, but as it was impossible, I rejected it." His words are so calm as he speaks. LIKE HE'S NOT BOTHERED ABOUT BEING TOLD TO KILL A BUNCH OF BITCHES?! ...Oh yeah! "I've also heard that he's been hired as a bodyguard to several foreign dignitaries..." Shocker, I remember all this yet I don't remember how I got here. "I have only been employed as a maid, not a bodyguard." His smile seems crooked. What the hell is this kid thinkin'? "But you've been hired by so many important people... You're, like, a super Maid!" Kaede claps her hands.
"Moving on, what do you intend to do now?" He looks at us with a stern face. "That's a tough question. Hmm, what would you do Kokichi?" He looks away and smiles. "I'd blow this place the ground. Nehehe" Excuse me? "What the fuck?!" Is he insane?! "I'm just kidding!" He laughs. "It does not matter what I would do. As a Maid, my only job is to serve others." Huh, even In a situation like this he thinks about others, wow. "Oh yeah, I'm Miu Iruma, Ultimate Detective..." there's something about this one, just, I don't trust him. "Well it was nice meeting you Kokichi!" Kaede pulls me off. "Now who else is around?" She holds her chin. "Ah, there!" Kaede pulls me over to a Warehouse door. I open the to see a boy in pink clothing rummaging through the bins. "Where the fuck is it!? Jezz!" He slams his hand down onto the shelf. "Wow there man, the fuck are you lookin' for?" He looks over and smirks. "Well hello ladys, I'm looking for a certain type of pills. They'll get me stoned enough to get threw this shit." I mean, I'm all for it, but maybe not while we're tryna find out where we are. "Don't do that!" Kaede slaps his hand away from the shelf. "Damnit, don't slap me! Unless we're talkin kinky, don't do it!" The boy moves away. "Fine. Can you at least tell us your name?" Kaede asks him. He rolls his eyes, "You don't know who I am? Well, I'm Shuichi  Saihara, the amazing Ultimate Inventor himself!" Shuichi uses his fingers to spread a smile across his face, pulling at the rims of his lips. That's not fuckin creepy. But I feel like I've heard his name somewhere before. "Hey wait! Didn't you invent those eye contact things that help you do work while you're sleeping?" His face lit up. "Fuck yeah I did! People waste so much time on sleeping that I decided that we should do more while we're sleepin', y'know?" That's pretty smart actually. "Oh! My friends use that thing!" Kaede jumps in, clapping her hands once again. "Yeah, well your friends are wasting their time on something little! I've made way better then that!" He looks at us weirdly. Nope, this dude is not okay- "Hey Kaede, we should go meet the others now." She looks over and nods. We walk out of the warehouse to collide with a tall girl chasing what seems to be a boy in a weird costume.
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How was the first chapter? I actually wanna know if this is something interesting or not, because if not I'll focus more on the other stories. I'm sorry to those who read any of my other stories because I'm taking so long to get a single chapter done. I hope you liked the chapter and have a great day/night!