Karma

I'm sorry; does it look like I care?

“James, you idiot!” Kelly nearly shouted at me the next morning while the guys and I had just arrived at Rouqe Records. I just gave her a puzzled look and she took up a magazine and on that cover it showed me leaning to the wall with the headline saying in bold letters “James and Selena: Broken up?” “What did you break her heart for?!” She added. I sighed.

“I didn’t break her heart. You might want to blame Gustavo on this one. He had Kendall and the other guys hire some amazingly good kisser to kiss me, get me sidetracked, and have Selena see it.” Kelly gave me a look that said she wasn’t fully getting what was going on here.

Oh, right… Kelly has been the only supportive person throughout this relationship I had with Selena. Therefore, she has no idea about how Gustavo and the other guys wanted us to break up. And now, I think they’ve taken things to the extreme.

“They’ve been trying to get us to break up for the longest time, but we wouldn’t do it.” I explained. “Therefore, they took things too far like always and now I probably lost her for good.” I just said and walked past them all and heading into the recording booth with the other three.

~*~Selena’s View~*~

“Alright, Selena.” Trevor said to me as I walked into the studio. He already knows about the pregnancy and has heard all about the thing that happened with James and that chick. Therefore, I had no idea why he wanted me down here so badly. He allowed me to take all of those other days off…. “It’s obvious you are hurt, so pick any song you want to cover today.”

I thought for a moment and said, “Cascada’s version of ‘What Hurts the Most’.”

Once in the booth with the headphones on, the music started and I sang out:

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don't bother me

I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out

I'm not afraid to cry

Every once in a while even though goin on with you gone still upsets me

There are days

Every now and again I pretend I'm OK but that's not what gets me

What hurts the most, was being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

Never knowing, what could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go

But I'm doing it

It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone

Still harder gettin up, gettin dressed, living with this regret

But I know if I could do it over

I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken

What hurts the most, was being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

Never knowing, what could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do

I'm not afraid to cry

Every once in a while even though goin on with you gone still upsets me

There are days

Every now and again I pretend I'm OK but that's not what gets me

What hurts the most, was being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

Never knowing, what could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most, was being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

Never knowing, what could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do…..

I closed my eyes while singing at some parts, mostly to make sure I wouldn’t break down in tears with singing, but the other reason being because I felt pain in my heart with singing, even though the pain was a pleasure to me because it reminded me how much I loved him, and how much good I had gotten and felt out of the relationship before that one night.

Who knew that just one person could cause so much pain and misery to me? I sighed and just walked out of the booth saying quietly, “I need to go…” And just rushed home.

Once in the lobby to the Palm Woods, I felt somebody grab my arm and stop me from walking. “Let. Go. Of. Me.” I said seriously and through my teeth when I realized it was James stopping me from walking.

“Just hear me out first,” He said calmly. As much as I wanted to smack him, I held myself back from doing so and yanked my arm out of his grip. It hurt a little bit, but the pain will subside soon. Whipping around to where I was facing him, I just said coldly,

“I don’t want to hear your excuses, James. You kissed her, you cheated on me. That is that, and I don’t want to hear some stupid little freaking lie out of you. Capiche? I shouldn’t of had been so stupid and blind to think that you were good.

“I should have had listened to Griffin and kept up with pretending to hate you. Because I’m sure feeling that pain would feel a hell of a lot better than this heartbreak. And maybe, just maybe, if I had listened to him, I wouldn’t be pregnant right now, and you wouldn’t of had shattered my heart.”