LVLYA

Chapter 80: The Heart Hiding Away Jade

[School started today. The people in my class are all really nice, they even invited me out to drink milk tea with them after school. But I wasn't very happy.]

Yue Zhishi continued reciting, "Even though I don't have any money, luckily I have gege. I managed to get a free bag of candy."

Song Yu continued reading on.

[Why wouldn't he let me call him gege? I don't understand. And not letting other people know about our relationship — does he not want to be my gege that badly?

After school ended, Jiang Yufan and I were in front of the milk tea shop and saw gege buying some books in the bookstore. He clearly saw me, but he still walked away. I felt a hole tear into my heart. I clearly drank so much sweet milk tea, but I couldn't taste it. Maybe it all dribbled out from that hole.

It wasn't sweet at all. It felt both painful and bitter.

Want to go back to elementary school.]

"That's so funny, how could I've liked taking things for free since I was a kid." Yue Zhishi flipped to another page, his mind still on the previous one. "I remember people kept wanting to give me snacks at the park, but I couldn't eat most of them. I'm so pitiful, the heavens gave me a face that could easily trick people into giving me things to eat and drink, but it took away my ability to casually eat just anything."

Sensing Song Yu's lack of response, Yue Zhishi turned his face over and raised his head to look at him. "Are you listening?"

Song Yu let out a 'mn', closing the diary in his hand.

"Should I keep reading? Or are we going to sleep."

Song Yu stroked his face. "Let's sleep. Your voice's still a bit hoarse, don't read anymore."

Yue Zhishi said sure, and then lay down, prompting Song Yu to turn off the lights. The wind blew loudly outside, so loudly it was a bit exaggerated. It was as though this magnificent high-rise could collapse or be swept away by the wind at any moment, everything in imminent danger.

The lights in the room darkened one by one. Song Yu didn't turn all of them off; he left the warmly yellow bedside lamp and lay down to face Yue Zhishi, silently studying his face. He was always subconsciously deliberating about how they could avoid any risks, avoid any danger — but in the end, he still wilfully allowed everything to turn into a situation different from what he'd imagined.

He really wanted to know what he should do in order to shape Yue Zhishi into a victim in front of his parents. He didn't want them to punish Yue Zhishi and him, and yet he wanted them to realise they were truly in love with each other and not the result of a one-sided coaxing — so that they could be forgiven.

No matter the result, Song Yu could accept it — but he didn't want Yue Zhishi to bear it.

He didn't want to see Yue Zhishi once again write down in his diary, [Want to go back to before we were together].

And for this reason, Song Yu started to think, what if.

"Le Le."

Hearing Song Yu call him, Yue Zhishi blinked open his eyes and shifted towards Song Yu's direction. The sound of his voice came gently, drifting through his nose. "Hm?"

"If we weren't together."

He didn't even finish his question.

Yue Zhishi didn't know what he was going to say, whether it was a hypothesis he'd already thought up or whether he was going to directly ask 'what would you do' — but to Yue Zhishi, it was all the same.