Bestfriends, Bestfriend (Sapnap)

18. Really

We just got home from the theme park. I walk in the door and make my way towards the couch. Then I just fall. "Ughhhhh. My feet hurt." I whined. "And I'm tired."

"Then take a nap babe." Nick said.

"You make a fair point." I laughed. "I'm going to take a nap at like 8 pm."

"Hey we will probably all be up by the time you wake up." Nick told me.

"You are right about that." I said laughing. The two boys sat down on the couch they turn on some anime to watch together. I haven't seen Clay much lately. What's wrong with him. I make my way towards his door and knock on it quietly.

"Yeah." I heard him softly say through the door.

"Can I come in?" I asked him.

"Yeah." He responded again.

I open the door slowly to see him on his bed just laying there. Like he's been sleeping all day. His hair was a mess and he was in only his sweats. It's not a big deal to me. The boys do occasionally walk around with no shirt. "Hey." I said quietly walking over to his bed. I sat down slowly.

"Hey." He responded shortly.

"Whats wrong with you? I'm concerned." I said in a worried voice. "Does it have to do somthing with the kiss?" I asked.

He sucked in breath and let it out in a sigh. "Well. Um. I dont know how to say this." He said sitting up.
"I just need to tell you somthing."

I started panicking. Not knowing what to expect. When people say things like that I panic. "Yeah?" I said as calm as possible.

"Well I uh... you know.." He put his hand on the back of his neck. "I hope this doesn't change anything between out friends ship but I can't just keep living like this. I. Uh. Love you." He said quietly.

"What!" I stood up quickly. "Excuse me. Why would you say that!" I felt confusion and anger. "What, what was that supposed to mean!" I said starting to feel me crying like always. "Do you really love me?" I said quietly.

"Yes. I had to tell you. I couldn't keep doing that to myself. Watching you with him. It hurts." He said.

I've never seen him like this. He's not sappy. He's up beat. Funny. Kind. He jokes about everything. But this. This is different. He's different. He's not angry. Not bitter. He's broken. More like depressed. I looked at him with his  head in one hand. I felt bad for him. All my anger wad asked away. I was sad. I didn't want to see him like this. I want to see him happy. I sat down right next to him again. I hugged him. After all I did love him. More like a friend.

"Look Clay. I love you. I really do. It hurts me to see you like this. I'm sorry. I wish I could help, but I don't feel that kind of love towards you. You are an amazing guy. Kind, sweet, funny, and you are an amazing friend." I told him and kissed his head. He put his head up and returned the hug. We sat there hugging eachother. I hugged him not wanting to let go. I think there is a part in me that does love him like that, but I love Nick more then anything or anyone. He is, this will be cringy, my always and forever.

I pulled away from the hug and kissed his cheek. The slowly got up and left the room. Nick and George were still on the couch with no clue what happened. I will never tell Nick what Clay just told me. They may be on good terms but if he hears about Clay confessing to me about his love. I think he will literally rip his throat out.

I made my way back to my room and crashed on the bed.

Whack! I heard somthing bang on my door waking me up immediately. I bolted out of bed following the sound.

"You fucking asswhole!" Nick yelled. I was confused and half asleep. I had no idea what was happening. When I realized what was happening my mind immediately went to Clay.

I run into the living room and Clay and Nick were standing close to eachother. "Why! Why would you say that!" Nick yelled in Clay's face. Somehow Clay kept his cool.

"Look dude calm down." Clay said trying to calm him down. "She said she loves you more then anything. She totally friendzoned me. She loves you. I'm not here to mess it up. I just couldn't keep it a secret anymore." Clay calmly said. "I'd you need I can go stay at my mom's house. I'm sorry. I I just couldn't keep it in anymore."

Nick's face was still full of anger. "You-you-you! I just don't even know what to say. I just don't want to see your dance right now." He yelled.

"Nick." I said. They all three looked at me just realizing I was here.

"Lizzie." His face softend when he saw me. He ran over to me picked me up and kissed me. He set me down.

"Nick. Look at me." I held his face in my hands. "You. You are amazing. You are sweet. You are funny. You are crazy. But most importantly you are mine and I am yours. No one else. No matter what. Not Clay not Alex. Yours. I will be beside you forever. I love you more then anyone. You are my soulmate." I kissed him softly. "Dont ever forget that."

"Look guys. Don't let me ruin your friendships. Nick I know you love Clay like a brother. He's been there for you. I mean hell he took care of you before I moved in. Clay. He loves you too. He just isn't good at explaining it. All I know is that you guys are bestfriends. Clay, Nick, and George. I love you all. All I want in life is for one month there is no drama. I mean man I've lived here for almost a year and damn there is always drama." I laughed. "I think we can make this work. We can get past this drama. Going back to being friends. Going back to loving eachother. We all love eachother even when it feels like we don't, we do. I'm sorry for that long super hero talk but it's just the truth." I finished my speech. Clay and Nick sat there in silence.

"I agree with Liz." George said. "You two need to calm down. I know feelings are involved. Clay, lizzie said what she feels. Nick, lizzie says she loves you. That all you just need to know. Nothings going to change. Let's just all chill." George is know in his adult mindset.

"Clay. You already know how I feel. Let me tell Nick how I feel." I said. "Nick, I love you more then any person on this planet. More then Clay, more then Alex, more then George. You are my literally soulmate. No Clay's feelings won't chnage anything in our relationship. I want you and only you." I said rehashing.

"I know you do babe." Nick came up and hugged me tightly not waiting to let me go.  He stopped huging me and walked over to Clay. "Look. I'm sorry I acted that way. I'm just insecure."

"Hey Nick I'm sorry." He said quietly.

"I think we should all just sit down and relax the rest of the day, because everything is okay." I said sitting on the couch.