𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙱𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚎 𝙰𝚏𝚏𝚊𝚒𝚛 || 𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙿𝙻𝙴𝚃𝙴𝙳

Chapter Twenty-One

The word normal breaks my heart. I wish to live like other adults my age where they don't live in a field of regrets and know stuff that is illegal to know. Where they haven't witnessed a murder. Where they haven't had to walk on eggshells. Moving to America was meant to that chance of a normal life but it seems my problems follow me everywhere haunting me taunting me.

Look at me self-pitting myself. I detangle myself from his sheets letting my feet connect with the chilling wooden floors. I stretch my arms above my head letting a yawn out before sliding off the bed not letting myself think about it much more because I know the more, I think about it I'll end up on a plane to England before I know it.

I turn the taps to the shower letting the water droplets dance down my body onto the tiles. Should I take the examination? Should I finally get answers? Should I risk losing everything losing him just for a piece of paper? Question on top of questions. I run my fingers through my hair. I shouldn't I can't, I can't lose Landon over a stupid piece of paper. A piece of paper that could give me answers to everything I've been going through recently. Fuck this. I shut the taps off stopping the water and rushing out of the bathroom with a towel around me. I quickly dry my body and change back into my clothes yesterday.

I'm choosing to run. I'm choosing to leave everything behind because that's what I do I run. I fled like the coward I am. Instead of growing up and facing my problems I run, I leave everyone to pick up the broken pieces I leave behind.

I rush down the stairs picking up my bag that was left on the couch and heading to the front door. I reach out to turn the doorknob, "Weak," her voice pulls my body to a freeze.

I feel her presence behind me as if she was really here, "I never meant anyone so weak in my life," her words sting me, "What happened to you Charlie? When did you become so weak?" she taunts me.

I'm not weak, am I? "When did you start to run from every little thing that goes wrong," I shiver as I feel a hand being placed on my shoulder, "That isn't the girl I remember who would put me in my place," tears roll down my cheeks as the memories of me putting Harley in her place after she would attack Kayla.

"I can't stay," my voice croaks as I speak, "I can't bear to see how Landon looks at me if those results come back positive, I can't ask him to stay and help me through this," more tears flood down my cheeks as I talk to her.

"Isn't that his choice and besides from what I remember he promised you to stay by your side through everything," I turn to see Harley resting her weight on her right foot with her arms crossed over her chest.

She's right. I never thought I would be saying this, but Harley is right it is his choice, and he did promise me, but there is a small chance he breaks his promises when it becomes a reality. Is that a risk I'm willing to take? I don't know to be honest but is it better than running. Yes.

I look back at the door taking my eyes off her. With all my power I let go of the doorknob turning back to see where Harley once stood, she no longer is.

I walk into the kitchen to see a fresh bag of croissants lying in the center of the counter. I grab the bag and pull out one of the freshly made croissants. I let my teeth sink into the soft pastry letting my taste buds absorb the sweet and salty taste of the croissant.

I drag myself back upstairs to strip myself of the day-old clothes. I grab one of Landon's shirts and a pair of his boxers.

••••••

Two hours passed and I am lounging around on Landon's couch waiting for him to come home. My legs are hung over the head of the couch as my head dangles off the couch, watching the TV upside down. I feel all the blood rushing to my head and my body become light. However, I don't sit up. I quite enjoy the feeling actually. I probably sound insane, but I don't know I feeling of being in your body but not actually being in your body as all the blood rushes to your head.

The sound of a door opening pulls my attention away from my current thought of hanging upside down. I stay in my position listening to the heavy footsteps growing closers to the couch.

A deep sigh sends tingles all over my body. Some more heavy steps hit the hardwood floor and I notice a pair of legs come into view, "Charlie-Rose," he grumbles my name bending down to lift my head back up forcing all the blood to rush back around my body.

"Welcome back," I smile at him.

"Thank you," he leans down and captures my lips on his, "Thank you, for not leaving," my heart awes at his words.

"I decided it's time I face my problems like I use to," I wrap my legs around his knee pulling him onto me, "I'm thinking of taking the test, but it isn't a one hundred percent yes," Landon nudges his head in the crook of my neck. His arms wrap around my waist as mine wrap around his neck.

"That's good enough for me," I feel his warm lips meet my neck. I shudder as his teeth graze over my sensitive skin.

The truth is I'm going to get the examination done I just don't want anyone to be there with me when I do. I need to do this on my own.