Trigger warning proceed with caution
You know that moment when you reach the peak of a panic attack the moment where you feel like you can't catch your breath no matter how hard you try no matter how much you fight just to be able to catch your air.
That's kinda what it feels like right now except I'm not trying to fight for air, my lungs are as my eyes are closed and I'm holding my self under the water I feel all my air slowly leaving my body sure it's uncomfortable but it's a feeling I've gotten used to over time.
I know that's not something to be proud of but I do it to try and feel what he did to try and feel the same pain he did because how is it fair that I don't feel the same pain he did when it was my fault he felt it in the first place.
My family is constantly telling me I should stop blaming myself because it wasn't my fault but we all know it was they only say that because they want to make me feel better but I want them to blame me I want them to yell at me, hit me I want to feel all the pain I caused.
So since they don't want to do it I do it myself, people say that it doesn't do any good in hurting yourself and I know that they're right but I really don't care anymore.
I'm always in and out of the counselors office at school for fighting she also pulls me out of class sometimes to just talk but if I'm being honest that bitch dose more harm than good.
Our conversations usually don't last long because she always says something that pisses me off and I tell throw things then I leave the school.
That's also how I ended up here in the river trying to finally be freed from all this and I was feeling my self finally go then I heard yelling but it sounded distant even though I know it isn't because I'm feeling myself being pulled out of the water.
"Sir stay with me someone's coming to help please stay with me" the voice sounded angelic in a way.
'Im finally free' was my final thought before everything went out.
———————————————-
Hii beautiful people thank you for reading the first part of this book I appreciate you all and I love you <3
YOU ARE READING
Our sins
Romance"Are you clueless" "yes that's why I'm asking" Nadia Russo When people hear her name they think of a put together happy smiley girl, a girl who lights up the room when she walks in, a girl who would do anything to see you happy what people wouldn...
