MOONSTRUCK ... r.lupin

chapter twenty-four

His mind flashes and for a moment, he wishes Urquhart was here to see her smiling like this, one arm wrapped around her waist, meeting his boyfriend with awful jokes and clammy hands.

"I see you have met my son. Remus makes him very happy, I can tell."

"Well, Minerva–" Hope smiles gently, rosy lips curling upwards so delicately it looks almost like a painting, "–I don't think I've ever seen my son shine so bright. I am sure Nate has something to do with that."

The two boys turn their heads towards each other, gravitating closer despite themselves, always wanting to be close, always wanting to be touching. It's almost like being too far away will suddenly cause the world to tilt on its axis and send them both tumbling into space, never to reach one another ever again. Nate isn't sure how he'd breathe again if Remus was suddenly not there. He could just split open his body, take out his organs, and let him live there, carry him around forever in a soft home where he will always be safe.

Their eyes shine. I love you. They sparkle. My home is you. They swim with tears. You are everything and more, my air, my beating heart, my world.

Nate wouldn't know how to live in a world without Remus Lupin.

And, for just a moment, he is scared. Because, they will walk out of these doors and no longer will they have to see each other every day, no more sitting across the hall at lunch and smiling despite themselves, no more Sundays in the Hospital Wing eating sweets and talking about Merlin knows what.

What if they walk out of those doors and Remus turns his back on him forever?

The clock strikes one. The sound booms through the entrance hall, shaking all of them out of their conversations and into the reality of the matter at hand. They're graduating. Time to shake off childhood and step into adulthood. Time to let go of their parents' hands.

Nate, suddenly, feels sick.

His mum leads the way into the Great Hall. The Gryffindors follow her first, all of them neatly laid out in varying shades of red and gold. Then the Hufflepuffs in yellow and black. The Ravenclaws in blue and bronze. Finally, the Slytherins in green and silver. Their parents all pile in behind them, and behind them are their professors, who have watched them learn, and grow, and become the adults currently bouncing their feet against stone flooring because they're too scared to walk out into that world alone.

Dumbledore sits on the raised platform that is usually home to the professor's table during mealtimes. Today, there is only his lectern and seven chairs, occupied by himself, the Heads of Houses, and the Head Girl and Boy.

Today, it feels more daunting.

Ravenclaw won the House Cup. Usually, that means their sapphire and bronze banners hang from the walls. But today, all their colours shine brightly, a testament to the first time they ever walked through those big oak doors and down to the stool set with a fraying old hat on top.

Amalthea slips her fingers through Nate's and squeezes them tightly. The last time they will ever sit in this hall. Remus twists his head to smile at him two rows in front, it sends a jolt through his heart. The last time they will ever share secret smiles in this hall. His mother's eyes twinkle from her seat between Flitwick and Orvokki. The last time he will be sat staring up at her like this.

It all makes him suddenly so much more afraid.

Dumbledore rises to his feet and the hall silences. He has always held a terrifyingly quiet disposition despite the gleam in his kyanite eyes. He might smile softly and perch his half-moon glasses on the end of his large nose, and he might wear robes with flowery patterns on them, and he might suck on lemon drops when he thinks no one is watching. But, when he stands above them all like this and his fingers curl around the winged owl carved into his lectern, they all wither silently under his cool gaze, like they are unsure that he will not turn around and strike them where they sit.