𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓 • 𝘫𝘰𝘩𝘯𝘯𝘺 𝘴𝘶𝘩

「 twenty 」

"No, I went alone this time." Jena clarifies in a monotone voice, sitting across the older and sighing. She took a walk alone in the lonely breezy night to gather her thoughts; the air around their house was suffocating her along with the despair she was holding back for a couple of days, getting depressed from everything going around her image and personal life. It was bizarre and she couldn't decipher how she's still living at this point, how things were getting bad for her even if things seemed to be controllable now. "Pass me a bottle, I wanna get fucking drunk."

"Since when are you that eager to drink?" The older scoffs but follows her request still, never leaving her fixated stare on the suh.

"Who cares, who wouldn't like to get drowned on liquor when every aspect of your life is ruined, so fucking ruined."

The whole midnight the two were well spent in alcohol and exhaustion, drinking and pouring their aching hearts desire to get wasted; letting the silence be their source of comfort since the two didn't even bother to speak, their sighs were already enough for them to be aware of the heaviness within their chest. Chaewon watches the younger weeping in silence, pouring out every tear she's been holding back for weeks.

"I want to quit, I want to quit everything I have now." Jena sniffles as she plays with her half filled wine glass, slowly glancing up to the older with cheeks decorated with flowing tears, half lidded eyes struggling to directly glare at Chaewon due to her blurry vision. "Are you happy now Chaewon? Are you fucking happy now for me to finally break me to give up and leave just like how you planned to do three years ago?!?" she fumed between her sobs, figure slumping as she hid her hideous crying face on the safety of her palms, which were now freshly wet from her flowing tears.

For years, Jena and the other girls were aware on the lingering tension between the suh and kim because of the shallow jealoust of Chae against Jena, how the kim always announce her grudge to the younger and wish Jena to leave the group way before they debuted, wishing all the misfortune the suh could ever receive.

And yet, Chaewon's curse came true and it made Jena go to deep depths of hell, Jena losing her nonchalant composure and sanity to hold further, already fatigued to continue her dream at his point.

With three bottles emptied by the suh, it wasn't that surprising to hear the incoherent rants of the youngest, face in the tint of light pink as she pour out every intricate thought she's been holding on; voice raucous then turn into a silent wheeze, ranting over the heavy thoughts inside of her in a blurred tone and the kim to understand her, only sensing the agony and misery in her rough yet incoherent tone.

"Why do you always think I envy you?"

"Why are you asking the obvious, didn't you wipe that bullshit on my face every single day for three years!"

"Funny, you notice my hatred and jealousy but never saw my love and adoration for you."

"Excuse me, why the fuck are you talking about all that love and all those horrible shit when literally we're discussing your shallow jealousy!" Jena scolded, drunk. She closed her eyes and strangle her hair in stressed, she already have so much emotions to pick up among her plate and her relationship with Doyoung will be another topic she'll talk on another day, skipping it as she have a lot of emotions concealed about her insecurities on their relationship, mostly about herself dating a successful male like Doyoung and she was nothing.

And the silent sadness from earlier, it is replaced with scent of alcohol and a heavy argument scattered around the dormitory; Jena and Chaewon losing their non-existent grip on being sober and began arguing like they used to; their intoxicated states wrangles on different issues: Chaewon nagging at Jena for her dumb mind still being in love with a undeserving senior, dragging each other out with their dirtiest attitudes, and every concealed memories that they've been carrying as regrets. With their loud shouts, it instantly arouse Hany and Sangmi to interfere and restrain the two from getting physical but struggled to control the youngest on almost punching Chae's face on always minding her relationship with another kim, instead a poor innocent wall receive the harsh punch Jena was aiming for the female kim and damaged her knuckles a lot due to her fumed anger.

Everything was history from that drunk night for the two girls, the dorm was awfully a mess and if it weren't for Hany and Sangmi, the other eonnies would find out and would even furthermore release damage. The two shake their heads again and deny they recalled the wasted midnight they have, saving each other's asses on their secret vulnerability towards the world.

And wanted to forget every argument they had from that night and maybe, forget every pain they suffered from each sharp word they threw at one another. Especially Chae's words on Jena being crazy in love with a boyfriend her brother restricts her on being romantically involved with.