I will always find you

Tired

All rights goes to Joss Whedon who has created all the characters in the Buffyverse. I don't own these characters.

Willow woke up to hearing screaming. To her surprise no one was in the room. Dawn had gone to school and Buffy was just on her way to work. She gently knocked on Willows door and came in with breakfast on a plate.
"Here you go Will, I'll just put this in the table over here" Buffy kind of mumbled, she put the tray down and went up to Willow who was just watching her.
"Hey, how are you feeling today? Any better?" Buffy said as she sat down on the side and brushed a strain of Willows hair behind her ear.
"Tired" was the only thing Willow said and then rolled over to the other side.
"I'm going to work now, I'll be home around 3. I love you Willow" Buffy said as she stroked her friends back.

Willow rolled over and three hours had past. She thought that a shower would be nice. Get the airport washed of her. Willow stood up and started to walk towards the door. Just as she was about to open the door she just started to scream. Her scream was filled with pain and she just had to get it out of herself. It didn't help but it felt good to get some air out of her lungs. Now she opened the door and walk across the hallway and stepped into the bathroom. She took of her jeans, all of her clothes she had on was the same as yesterday. When she had taken of all of her clothes and only stood in her underwear she looked at her thigh. It was filled with small sharp scars.

When Willow was done in the shower she went back to her room. She grabbed her suitcase and threw it on her bed, she opened it and started to look for some clothes she could wear. A pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt felt most appealing. When she was dressed she went downstairs, she went around looking if anything was new. It wasn't. Except for one thing. Tara's knitted shirt was gone. It was always on one of chair in the dining room. Willow put her hands on the now empty chair. She just stood there staring out over the dining room. She went back upstairs and into her room. One box was marked with four letters, she stroked her fingers over the name. It was a box filled with the few stuff left from Tara. Most of her stuff was in her dorm, but some stuff was still left in Willows room and now they were showed in a box. Like they didn't matter. Like she was forgotten. She didn't dare to tough it, she was to afraid.

"He did it because of you"
"He shot her because of you, you know it"
"It's your fault she is dead"

"SHUT UP" she yelled, she wanted it to be quiet. Willow didn't realize that Dawn stood in the room. She skipped the last classes so that she could be with Willow. She had said hi for a few times.
"Hi" Willow said, looking at Dawn with sad eyes.
"Why are you yelling?" Dawn asked, to be honest she was a little scared.
"I wasn't yelling" Willow said and started walking out of the room and quickly walked into the bathroom, she wanted to be alone. Dawn just stood there like a question mark. She did not understand a thing.

Willow sat on the floor, her heart was hurting. All of her was in pain. Like all of her was on fire. It all hurt. Everything. She had taken of her pants and sat looking at her scars, there were some fresh scars. She had a blade. After a while in the bathroom Dawn got a little scared. She called Buffy, she was afraid something had happened to Willow.
"Why aren't you in school?" Buffy asked and she didn't have time to ask again.
"You need to come home" Dawn said with a shaky voice.
"Something is wrong with Willow" she added and Buffy just hung up, she was on her way.

"What is going on?" Buffy asked Dawn who was sitting on the couch.
"She was yelling at someone, there was no one in the room. And then she locked herself in the bathroom, she's been in there for almost 1,5 hours" Dawn said, she was scared. Scared that Willow would go dark and scared there maybe was a demon haunting Willow.
"I'll check on her, you just stay here. Okay?" Buffy said and she hugged her sister. Dawn just nodded in return. Buffy went up the stairs, she stood right outside the bathroom door. She was hesitating on to kick the door in or just knock at it.

"Hey, Will?" Buffy asked, what if she was followed by a demon or something. Instead of an answer Willow just opened the door, she looked at Buffy and left. Her eyes told a million things and Buffy couldn't see a thing. Willow laid down in her bed and tried to relax for a minute.
"Are you sick? Is that why your feeling so low?" Buffy asked. She was hoping for a yes but instead she got nothing.
"Hey Will, please talk to me" the blonde friend said.
"I want to sleep" Willow mumbled as she pulled the covers over her face.
"Okay, you sleep. I'll be downstairs" Buffy left the room and went downstairs to her sister.

Willow had made up her mind. She knew what she wanted. She knew what she had to do.